(L-R, from top: d'NA 2004, Seminary Theoloji Malaysia, Seremban; near the Scripture Union office, PJ; highway, en route from Kuantan; aeroplane, en route to Tioman; sunset, Tioman; rain clouds, Tioman; after the haze, KL; highway, between PJ and KLCC)
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
-- Evanescence, 'Imaginary'
Will be meeting a good friend later today, within about two-and-a-half hours. We wrote this nearly 31 days ago, and I reproduce verbatim:
--------------------------------------
A rededication of our friendship
To allow the one from whom it came, his way with it
Not knowing what lies ahead
But knowing who lies ahead.
It's difficult, when we think about it
Or when our hearts are weighed by burdens unshared
How are we going to survive this?
Must we? Better dead within God's hands, than alive without.
We can only look to you, our Potter
You mould us into your image, though we are but moons
You gave us light that we might shine forth
And you never give up on us -- never.
We will seek You and trust You
For your faithfulness and love keep us
We will bring ourselves wholly before You
For it is only in you that we are who we are.
Help us be patient, Father
Comfort us in our weariest hours, and take us deeper
We seek to love You more in this friendship
Let your joy come with the morning.
You will guide us and guard us
For there is no other Name worthy
We commit our fears to You
And all our hopes and dreams as well.
This love will go on
And we draw from you, O Endless Love
You made this love possible
So to you, as from you and through you.
Amen.
--------------------------------------
Hasn't been easy, hasn't been too difficult either. Again, I am reminded of Bono's words in 'Walk On':
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind.
The journey gets harder and harder, and choices are more painful than ever. Deciding between a path that will bring much joy, and another that is dark, but also along which I believe I must walk.
Between a path in which the things that bring me joy are the same things that really matter, and another in which the things that bring me joy stand in opposition to the things that really matter.
How much will I have to leave behind? How much will I have to sacrifice?
Happy Merdeka, Malaysia!
Soo Tian arrives home within ten hours.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Vapour
Sunday, August 28, 2005
To the VEB!
veb farewell (b)
Originally uploaded by mincaye.
Friday night was quite momentous: we had the annual Victorian Editorial Board farewell dinner at Denise's father's Nyonya restaurant, Bibik Neo, in Desa Sri Hartamas.
We had intended, at first, to begin dinner at half-past six and end at eight. Eventually, we started at about a quarter past eight, and I cannot remember when we actually ended.
Amy (accompanied by Denise, Suzanne, Debbie and Li-Shen) and Tinesh & Zamil presented a number of songs after dinner, framing the speeches made by some of the outgoing Upper-Six members.
But I think the most interesting performance of the night was the Uncorking of the Sparkling Juice Bottles by Chin Fei and Weng Ken, our Chief Editor and Sub-Editor respectively.
The wine Lik Wen selected turned out to be rather sweet (which I liked very much!) for a white wine. It's called 'Mystique,' and was chosen simply because Lik Wen liked the bottle and we couldn't find champagne.
(For a detailed account, read the 27 August entry on Denise's blog, accessible via 'Links: Hikers' on my blog's sidebar).
Well, the editors have stepped down:
04/05
Editor-in-Chief:
Yan Chin Fei
Sub-Editors (alphabetical order):
Chan Weng Ken
Ho Jia Hun
And have been replaced by:
05/06
Editor-in-Chief:
Benjamin Ong
Sub-Editors (alphabetical order):
Keeshoore Apparavoo
Leong Lik Wen
Lim Jinq Sien
Interestingly, before I became the Editor-in-Chief of the Seladang Editorial Board, I was preceded by a Sub-Editor who was an ex-student of SK Taman Segar, John Ratnaraj, two years my senior.
This time around, interestingly, I was also preceded by a Segarian, Weng Ken, the only difference being that he's only a year older than me.
Quite a night indeed. And the journey has just begun!
(p.s: click on the photo to see a larger version of it)
He knows
Mr Kali, our Chemistry teacher, has this habit of saying, "The Lord Almighty knows," whenever he gets to the very bottom of what science has been able to find out about our world thus far.
It happens whenever we're stuck at a dead-end that cannot be explained by current theories and other discoveries to date.
So, yes. I cannot disagree. It sounds rather cliche and all, but it's true. Hard for the intellectuals to hand over the reins to the one who reigns, but that is what must be done.
The next time he says it, let us look upward at the sun... at the Son.
It happens whenever we're stuck at a dead-end that cannot be explained by current theories and other discoveries to date.
So, yes. I cannot disagree. It sounds rather cliche and all, but it's true. Hard for the intellectuals to hand over the reins to the one who reigns, but that is what must be done.
The next time he says it, let us look upward at the sun... at the Son.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Meme?
I have no idea what a Meme is, but since Sivin tagged me, I shall respond. OK, he tagged me on 9th August, so this is really late... sorry!
1)Total number of books you own
I don't know the exact number, either, but I'll let the photos do the talking. Behind each book is another book, to conserve space. Nowhere near Sivin's number, at any rate!
2)The last book you bought
Hmmm... let me see. I think it was C.S. Lewis' Poems, a rather extensive collection edited by his ex-secretary Walter Hooper, an American residing in Oxford.
Discovered it in MPH Jusco Taman Maluri, Cheras. It includes some of the works written before he became a Christian.
3)The last book you read
I, too, tend to read several books at once.
At the moment, I'm working on Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie and T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land and Other Poems, with some of C.S. Lewis' The Weight of Glory and other Addresses thrown in now and then.
The last book I finished reading, if I'm not mistaken, was Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven.
4)Five books that mean a lot to me
First, the ones that didn't make it:
C.S. Lewis' The Abolition of Man and Brian McLaren's Finding Faith. Great books, but not in the top five.
I choose the following because of the pivotal role they played in challenging not only my thinking, but also (and perhaps more importantly) my writing:
Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. Written so inventively that the most important points are made indirectly. A great source of encouragement. (Presently with Tee Ming).
Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia. A work of much simplicity, and yet it's evident that most of the great thoughts from his other works appear within its pages.
T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets. Probably the finest work of poetry I have read thus far, and a great influence on my own poems.
Max Lucado's He Chose the Nails. The first book I remember buying from the Christianity section, and one of the best. I still owe whatever writing skill I have to Max. (Presently with Tee Ming's friend).
Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy. I haven't finished reading it yet, but it got me thinking about righteousness and living not just a good life, but the God-life. Presents a very compelling case for a godly sense of ethics.
5)Tag five people and have them fill this out on their blogs
OK, here goes:
Soo Tian
David
Su Lin
Li-Shia
Denise
1)Total number of books you own
I don't know the exact number, either, but I'll let the photos do the talking. Behind each book is another book, to conserve space. Nowhere near Sivin's number, at any rate!
2)The last book you bought
Hmmm... let me see. I think it was C.S. Lewis' Poems, a rather extensive collection edited by his ex-secretary Walter Hooper, an American residing in Oxford.
Discovered it in MPH Jusco Taman Maluri, Cheras. It includes some of the works written before he became a Christian.
3)The last book you read
I, too, tend to read several books at once.
At the moment, I'm working on Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie and T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land and Other Poems, with some of C.S. Lewis' The Weight of Glory and other Addresses thrown in now and then.
The last book I finished reading, if I'm not mistaken, was Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven.
4)Five books that mean a lot to me
First, the ones that didn't make it:
C.S. Lewis' The Abolition of Man and Brian McLaren's Finding Faith. Great books, but not in the top five.
I choose the following because of the pivotal role they played in challenging not only my thinking, but also (and perhaps more importantly) my writing:
Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. Written so inventively that the most important points are made indirectly. A great source of encouragement. (Presently with Tee Ming).
Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia. A work of much simplicity, and yet it's evident that most of the great thoughts from his other works appear within its pages.
T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets. Probably the finest work of poetry I have read thus far, and a great influence on my own poems.
Max Lucado's He Chose the Nails. The first book I remember buying from the Christianity section, and one of the best. I still owe whatever writing skill I have to Max. (Presently with Tee Ming's friend).
Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy. I haven't finished reading it yet, but it got me thinking about righteousness and living not just a good life, but the God-life. Presents a very compelling case for a godly sense of ethics.
5)Tag five people and have them fill this out on their blogs
OK, here goes:
Soo Tian
David
Su Lin
Li-Shia
Denise
Adventures in missing the point
Somewhere two-thirds through the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the character Mike Teavee remarks, "Why is everything here completely pointless?"
Charlie replies, "Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy."
Sometimes we get too caught up trying to figure everything out, reach the bottomline, and place all the points in their respective places, that we completely miss the wonder.
Max Lucado wrote, in his book In the Grip of Grace:
The loss of mystery has led to the loss of majesty. The more we know, the less we believe. No wonder there is no wonder. We think we've figured it all out.
Strange, don't you think? Knowledge of the workings shouldn't negate wonder. Knowledge should stir wonder.
Who has more reason to worship than the astronomer who has seen the stars? Than the surgeon who has held a heart? Than the oceanographer who has pondered the depths?
So I suppose we have to miss the point sometimes. When we think we've figured everything out, we really haven't. We've sacrificed the big picture for an intricate understanding of the inner workings.
Not that that's wrong, but there comes a point when we have to stop analysing air pressure and composition, and just start breathing it.
And if we're not so worried about the destination, perhaps we'll actually smell the flowers along the way, soaking in the whole experience of a joyous journey.
After all, on all long adventures, focusing on little else but the 'point' is just like the child who, on a long road trip, keeps asking "Are we there yet, Daddy?"
"Candy doesn't have to have a point."
That line stood out in the trailer. It stood out in the movie, and it does still. Maybe because, though we do not say it, we know it to be true.
After all, which chocoholic cares anything about the calorie content of chocolates?
"That's why it's candy."
Charlie replies, "Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy."
Sometimes we get too caught up trying to figure everything out, reach the bottomline, and place all the points in their respective places, that we completely miss the wonder.
Max Lucado wrote, in his book In the Grip of Grace:
The loss of mystery has led to the loss of majesty. The more we know, the less we believe. No wonder there is no wonder. We think we've figured it all out.
Strange, don't you think? Knowledge of the workings shouldn't negate wonder. Knowledge should stir wonder.
Who has more reason to worship than the astronomer who has seen the stars? Than the surgeon who has held a heart? Than the oceanographer who has pondered the depths?
So I suppose we have to miss the point sometimes. When we think we've figured everything out, we really haven't. We've sacrificed the big picture for an intricate understanding of the inner workings.
Not that that's wrong, but there comes a point when we have to stop analysing air pressure and composition, and just start breathing it.
And if we're not so worried about the destination, perhaps we'll actually smell the flowers along the way, soaking in the whole experience of a joyous journey.
After all, on all long adventures, focusing on little else but the 'point' is just like the child who, on a long road trip, keeps asking "Are we there yet, Daddy?"
"Candy doesn't have to have a point."
That line stood out in the trailer. It stood out in the movie, and it does still. Maybe because, though we do not say it, we know it to be true.
After all, which chocoholic cares anything about the calorie content of chocolates?
"That's why it's candy."
Friday, August 26, 2005
Just when you thought you'd seen it all...
And... I've saved the best for the last of a series of four posts, beginning with 'On the way...' below.
This is for you, David, just when you thought we could close the chapter and forget the subject.
Presenting: the coconut tree!
(With fluffy clouds and the Telekom pucuk rebung building in the background)
This is for you, David, just when you thought we could close the chapter and forget the subject.
Presenting: the coconut tree!
(With fluffy clouds and the Telekom pucuk rebung building in the background)
Adventures in Mid Valley...
Ah, these pictures more or less sum up the day.
Clockwise, from top left:
Li-Shia next to a giant lavender flower. What bliss! (Now if only it were real...)
Her first taste of Mars; don't worry, all the calories gained from the caramel will be swiftly lost through excessive laughter.
Enjoying a Caramel Ice-Blended at Starbucks before Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, in the breezy outdoor air.
Walking through the chocolate aisle in the supermarket. She still dreams of marrying the heir to the Cadbury empire.
Clockwise, from top left:
Li-Shia next to a giant lavender flower. What bliss! (Now if only it were real...)
Her first taste of Mars; don't worry, all the calories gained from the caramel will be swiftly lost through excessive laughter.
Enjoying a Caramel Ice-Blended at Starbucks before Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, in the breezy outdoor air.
Walking through the chocolate aisle in the supermarket. She still dreams of marrying the heir to the Cadbury empire.
The Economist
Kok Kin leaves next Thursday for the London School of Economics, where he will pursue a Masters degree in economics.
The inset photo was taken at lunch. One wonders if Kok Kin was enjoying the ais kacang or hating it... or perhaps it was his reaction to being photographed?
For the record, I've 'invited' him to give a guest Maths lecture in school sometime next week, just for the fun of it. If it works out well, there'll be much to blog about, heheheheh...
The inset photo was taken at lunch. One wonders if Kok Kin was enjoying the ais kacang or hating it... or perhaps it was his reaction to being photographed?
For the record, I've 'invited' him to give a guest Maths lecture in school sometime next week, just for the fun of it. If it works out well, there'll be much to blog about, heheheheh...
On the way...
Was supposed to meet up with Li-Shia for lunch and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at Times Square, but the 1:40 p.m. show was scrapped off, so we moved to Mid Valley.
Kok Kin followed us, as he and I journeyed first from Sungei Wang to Maharajalela to meet Li-Shia, then to the KL Railway Station from which we took the Komuter to Mid Valley.
We used the pedestrian bridge, but I deliberately posed for the photo, just for the fun of it... couldn't resist, naturally.
On the way, we passed the old V.I. building, where we stopped to shoot Kok Kin and the V.I.
Kok Kin followed us, as he and I journeyed first from Sungei Wang to Maharajalela to meet Li-Shia, then to the KL Railway Station from which we took the Komuter to Mid Valley.
We used the pedestrian bridge, but I deliberately posed for the photo, just for the fun of it... couldn't resist, naturally.
On the way, we passed the old V.I. building, where we stopped to shoot Kok Kin and the V.I.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
(blank)
A mental note, for those who'll discern
When one by one, each in turn
Follows shattering glass into the ground
Escaping, but falling into the hound
That will not release its prey
Not while the skies are still grey
And the heart beats in loneliness
And the dreams wander in emptiness.
A clue, a scent, I leave here to remind
A hint, a guess, perhaps part of a quorum:
Those who are wise, you will read the signs
Burn the lights, and tear down all decorum
Lock up the genius, throw away the key
For a year's isolation, mindlessly
Ranting and finding bearings again
While the fatted calf is slowly slain.
Between the two cries of the pigeon
And the pigeon-master calling out
Assemble thy forces, demonic legion:
It's time to banish all standing doubt
Falling and falling, tumbling over
Vertigo settling in, is it over...
Is it over?
God knows.
(He dealt the blows)
When one by one, each in turn
Follows shattering glass into the ground
Escaping, but falling into the hound
That will not release its prey
Not while the skies are still grey
And the heart beats in loneliness
And the dreams wander in emptiness.
A clue, a scent, I leave here to remind
A hint, a guess, perhaps part of a quorum:
Those who are wise, you will read the signs
Burn the lights, and tear down all decorum
Lock up the genius, throw away the key
For a year's isolation, mindlessly
Ranting and finding bearings again
While the fatted calf is slowly slain.
Between the two cries of the pigeon
And the pigeon-master calling out
Assemble thy forces, demonic legion:
It's time to banish all standing doubt
Falling and falling, tumbling over
Vertigo settling in, is it over...
Is it over?
God knows.
(He dealt the blows)
Breathing space
Monday: photography union outing day. OK, it was actually Grace's (Head of Photography Dept, Editorial Board) treat for those of us who helped out during the photography week.
I wore jeans and sneakers and t-shirt, which I haven't in ages. Usually I'm the shirt/polo-tee plus slacks plus Hush Puppies guy. Made for an interesting photo, L-R: Denise, Jinq Sien, Lik Wen, me, Keeshoore, Li-Shen.
(Mental note: always, always, think twice before letting Lik Wen drive you somewhere. Keeshoore learnt this the hard way.)
Had some discussions to sort this Friday's farewell party out. At present, Denise will be hosting us at her father's Nyonya Restaurant in Sri Hartamas. The last time I had Nyonya was in Malacca, at Miss Nga Johnson's friend's place. Yummy!
Met up with Nigel while the others had dinner; meant to join them later, but our conversation dragged on that I arrived just as they finished, heh. It was well worth it, though. (Nigel had fries and Orange McFizz; I had fries, apple pie and orange juice.)
He summed up our conversation and the matter(s) at hand in the verse "He has set eternity in the hearts of men." There are some things we are to know, and a whole lot that is God's and God's alone.
Steven Curtis Chapman wrote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of the picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God
Now the hard part is in letting go of all that I am, and letting God take control -- releasing what I am into the hands of the great I AM.
Nigel is right: this journey is not undertaken alone. He who will never leave nor forsake, is by my side, and is present in many others who walk with me.
Making the journey from the head to the heart is not easy. But thanks, Tee Ming, for showing me this, even before all these recent 'upheavals.' The journey is not undertaken alone.
Bono sings:
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind...
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on...
God still has a sense of humour. After all, he gives us breathing space, falling space, lets us make mistakes.
The Batman reference wins again:
"And why do we fall? So that we may better learn to pick ourselves up."
"Still haven't given up on me?"
"Never."
I wore jeans and sneakers and t-shirt, which I haven't in ages. Usually I'm the shirt/polo-tee plus slacks plus Hush Puppies guy. Made for an interesting photo, L-R: Denise, Jinq Sien, Lik Wen, me, Keeshoore, Li-Shen.
(Mental note: always, always, think twice before letting Lik Wen drive you somewhere. Keeshoore learnt this the hard way.)
Had some discussions to sort this Friday's farewell party out. At present, Denise will be hosting us at her father's Nyonya Restaurant in Sri Hartamas. The last time I had Nyonya was in Malacca, at Miss Nga Johnson's friend's place. Yummy!
Met up with Nigel while the others had dinner; meant to join them later, but our conversation dragged on that I arrived just as they finished, heh. It was well worth it, though. (Nigel had fries and Orange McFizz; I had fries, apple pie and orange juice.)
He summed up our conversation and the matter(s) at hand in the verse "He has set eternity in the hearts of men." There are some things we are to know, and a whole lot that is God's and God's alone.
Steven Curtis Chapman wrote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of the picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God
Now the hard part is in letting go of all that I am, and letting God take control -- releasing what I am into the hands of the great I AM.
Nigel is right: this journey is not undertaken alone. He who will never leave nor forsake, is by my side, and is present in many others who walk with me.
Making the journey from the head to the heart is not easy. But thanks, Tee Ming, for showing me this, even before all these recent 'upheavals.' The journey is not undertaken alone.
Bono sings:
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind...
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on...
God still has a sense of humour. After all, he gives us breathing space, falling space, lets us make mistakes.
The Batman reference wins again:
"And why do we fall? So that we may better learn to pick ourselves up."
"Still haven't given up on me?"
"Never."
Sunday, August 21, 2005
And Wilson makes three!
Somewhere in the middle of our dandelion journey, Wilson popped into the picture; he met us en route to the Pavilion.
The sun was absolutely brilliant then, circa 9:00 a.m. Took a number of shots on the Pavilion, with the marvellous Clock Tower in the background, and stopped on the way back to take a photo beneath a giant palm; an unidentified 1st/2nd-former took that shot.
Still bursting with energy and a penchant for wacky photos, we did a little choo-choo-train formation on the steps leading down to the Form Six Block; photo credits to Keeshoore and Tinesh.
As Li-Shia would undoubtedly be happy to know, basking in the sun is an excellent way to shed those extra pounds gained from over-indulgence in chocolate and cotton candy...
(Now we all know how she maintains her figure despite the glaring overdose of calories!)
The sun was absolutely brilliant then, circa 9:00 a.m. Took a number of shots on the Pavilion, with the marvellous Clock Tower in the background, and stopped on the way back to take a photo beneath a giant palm; an unidentified 1st/2nd-former took that shot.
Still bursting with energy and a penchant for wacky photos, we did a little choo-choo-train formation on the steps leading down to the Form Six Block; photo credits to Keeshoore and Tinesh.
As Li-Shia would undoubtedly be happy to know, basking in the sun is an excellent way to shed those extra pounds gained from over-indulgence in chocolate and cotton candy...
(Now we all know how she maintains her figure despite the glaring overdose of calories!)
Dandelion Adventures
Friday morning was really fun!
Li-Shia had quite a whale of a time dispersing those little dandelion feather-thingies, I had a great time taking photos... and almost the entire Sixth Form enjoyed the whole show!
Before we parted ways for the second half of the school day, I took a picture of Li-Shia in a Maria-esque Sound of Music pose, amidst waving grass, with the trees and blue skies in the background... now if only that telephone/electric cable wasn't in the way.
(By the way, I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier: congrats Li-Shia on being elected President of the Consumer Club!)
Li-Shia had quite a whale of a time dispersing those little dandelion feather-thingies, I had a great time taking photos... and almost the entire Sixth Form enjoyed the whole show!
Before we parted ways for the second half of the school day, I took a picture of Li-Shia in a Maria-esque Sound of Music pose, amidst waving grass, with the trees and blue skies in the background... now if only that telephone/electric cable wasn't in the way.
(By the way, I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier: congrats Li-Shia on being elected President of the Consumer Club!)
Open Sea
"Fare forward, you who think that you are voyaging;
You are not those who saw the harbour
Receding, or those who will disembark."
-- T.S. Eliot, The Dry Salvages
That seems to be the case with d'NAers. Though we travel all over the world, we're neither here nor there. Perhaps David's moniker sums it up best: 'foreign strangers' we are.
All Christians (and indeed, all humans) are aliens in this world to a certain extent, but I can only quote from my experience, and I have felt this most with the d'NAers.
It was a joy to meet up with David and Audrey last Thursday; they leave for the USA tomorrow.
We talked about personality types (Myers-Briggs anyone?) and school CF and YF dynamics, mainly.
Between the two shores, the Love that brought us together will continue to keep us that way. Indeed, we're phase particles! (Thanks David, heheh)
Here's to you, David and Aud; may the next phase of your adventure be even more exciting and enriching than anything before this. Rock the States, but please wait for the rest of us before you sink any of the islands there!
You are not those who saw the harbour
Receding, or those who will disembark."
-- T.S. Eliot, The Dry Salvages
That seems to be the case with d'NAers. Though we travel all over the world, we're neither here nor there. Perhaps David's moniker sums it up best: 'foreign strangers' we are.
All Christians (and indeed, all humans) are aliens in this world to a certain extent, but I can only quote from my experience, and I have felt this most with the d'NAers.
It was a joy to meet up with David and Audrey last Thursday; they leave for the USA tomorrow.
We talked about personality types (Myers-Briggs anyone?) and school CF and YF dynamics, mainly.
Between the two shores, the Love that brought us together will continue to keep us that way. Indeed, we're phase particles! (Thanks David, heheh)
Here's to you, David and Aud; may the next phase of your adventure be even more exciting and enriching than anything before this. Rock the States, but please wait for the rest of us before you sink any of the islands there!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
The Way of the Force
I'm sneaking out a few minutes to write this.
Mr Leong (our Pure Maths teacher) has given the class a '3-day 2-night holiday package' of Maths work, covering the Polynomials and Sequences & Series chapters. We have the week-long school holidays to complete it.
I told myself yesterday that I would spend the next three or four days working hard on it, for the sake of getting it out of my mind. At present, I have completed the Inequalities handout. I have yet to do the handouts for Series and Partial Fractions, and two Sequences & Series exercises, in addition to a total of 56 revision questions from the two chapters.
It occurred to me a short while ago, that I'm not doing this out of love for the subject; indeed, I see no functional use for all the Maths we've been studying this year, except to fill up time if you've nothing better to do. And the parts I actually like (e.g. the stuff on infinity) are hardly applicable in daily life unless you're into Quantum Physics.
So, it seems quite clear that I'm doing it merely to get it out of the way, like killing a parasite. Reminds me of the time when ticks infested my dog, George. I used to relish picking them out and killing them one by one, whether by squishing their blood-bloated bodies, flattening their heads, or thrusting them into soap solutions.
My desire to finish the Maths work is fuelled by an intense hatred of the subject. Yet I know this is not the Jedi way. But neither can I love the subject.
Mum said it's to stimulate the mind. Yeah, I'm stimulated by photography, poetry, literature, music, art, nature, laughter... In fact, all the mammoth personalities of the past were famous for developing their strengths in favour of their weaknesses; they were wise enough for that. Beethoven never became a rocket scientist, Einstein wasn't a poet laureate, van Gogh did not compose music, Shakespeare did not pursue economics.
I'll never become a mathematician. Descartes famously said, cogito ergo sum, i.e. "I think, therefore I am." I do not believe that. Rather, I am inclined to think that our thoughts don't change what we are; they are a reflection of who we are. I am too random, too much a dreamer, to ever be grounded by the abstractions of the hard sciences. To me, a whale deserves to be enjoyed and celebrated in verse, far more than dissected upon the laboratory table.
Some of you who read this may know Mr Leong. I like him very much, especially all the tangents he frequently embarks on, like throwing Ayah Pin, Approved Permits, the profits of Petronas and the N95 haze mask into his lessons. I guess it says something about the stuff that really matter. When he talks about all those 'unrelated things,' we immediately connect; when he begins to explain the next concept, we are automatically flung into another frequency.
I am not belittling Maths. And I did not drop Physics because I think it's a whole lot of crap. On the contrary, I enjoy Physics so much, that I cannot help talking about it or describing things in its terms. But these are not for me. There are mathematicians and physicists among my friends; it is their lot in life. It is not mine.
So why do I even give a fuck? Why must I slave through this (and please, for crying out loud, DON'T say: "because it builds character") if it is not my destiny? I see no good that can come out of endless sessions of pain, trying to understand something I will never use. Even Jacob didn't work hard for nothing: his prize was Rachel.
Some may point out that I must score in this so that I can pursue medicine. Well, to hell with it then. I'll do something else: I'll study literature, become a teacher. Work in Scripture Union (that is, if SU would ever put up with someone like me). Life is not a bed of roses, granted. But that does not mean we deliberately invite trouble by jumping into a pool of acid.
Maybe I should just switch to the arts stream. At least I may understand those concepts better, even if I cannot remember them all. And at least I may see something actually applicable there, something grounded in reality versus the scientific abstractions that are dealt with within the mind, and the mind alone.
Anyway, I tip my hat to those of you who are still reading. Thanks for listening to these ramblings. I think I'll just do the wisest thing anyone in my position can do: sleep. Maybe a nap will clear my mind a little.
Oh, and just one more thing: I also realise that I need not be in the editorial board. My list of extra-curricular exploits is already rather illustrious, and apparently with the advantage of having served in National Service, I have full points for local university admission. So why do I bother with the board? It is no longer something I need. Yet I do it for the joy of the whole endeavour.
Which is the opposite of Maths, which is something I do because I have to, deprived of all manner of joy. Ironically, nobody remembers the top scorers of the last decade. Yet the names of even the earliest editors are preserved, and the magazines kept intact for posterity. Maybe I'm still in the editorial board because it means something to me. Because I enjoy creating and writing and communicating.
Oh, screw it. When I wake up, I'll still have that pile of maths staring at me. Maybe I'll just burn the whole stack and tell Mr Leong that I misplaced the assignments. Though, he did say yesterday, "Ben, you're always so busy. I hope you can finish the work." Well what does it matter anyway? It's my life, after all.
So much for the way of the Force. So what if I'd rather be Sith?
Mr Leong (our Pure Maths teacher) has given the class a '3-day 2-night holiday package' of Maths work, covering the Polynomials and Sequences & Series chapters. We have the week-long school holidays to complete it.
I told myself yesterday that I would spend the next three or four days working hard on it, for the sake of getting it out of my mind. At present, I have completed the Inequalities handout. I have yet to do the handouts for Series and Partial Fractions, and two Sequences & Series exercises, in addition to a total of 56 revision questions from the two chapters.
It occurred to me a short while ago, that I'm not doing this out of love for the subject; indeed, I see no functional use for all the Maths we've been studying this year, except to fill up time if you've nothing better to do. And the parts I actually like (e.g. the stuff on infinity) are hardly applicable in daily life unless you're into Quantum Physics.
So, it seems quite clear that I'm doing it merely to get it out of the way, like killing a parasite. Reminds me of the time when ticks infested my dog, George. I used to relish picking them out and killing them one by one, whether by squishing their blood-bloated bodies, flattening their heads, or thrusting them into soap solutions.
My desire to finish the Maths work is fuelled by an intense hatred of the subject. Yet I know this is not the Jedi way. But neither can I love the subject.
Mum said it's to stimulate the mind. Yeah, I'm stimulated by photography, poetry, literature, music, art, nature, laughter... In fact, all the mammoth personalities of the past were famous for developing their strengths in favour of their weaknesses; they were wise enough for that. Beethoven never became a rocket scientist, Einstein wasn't a poet laureate, van Gogh did not compose music, Shakespeare did not pursue economics.
I'll never become a mathematician. Descartes famously said, cogito ergo sum, i.e. "I think, therefore I am." I do not believe that. Rather, I am inclined to think that our thoughts don't change what we are; they are a reflection of who we are. I am too random, too much a dreamer, to ever be grounded by the abstractions of the hard sciences. To me, a whale deserves to be enjoyed and celebrated in verse, far more than dissected upon the laboratory table.
Some of you who read this may know Mr Leong. I like him very much, especially all the tangents he frequently embarks on, like throwing Ayah Pin, Approved Permits, the profits of Petronas and the N95 haze mask into his lessons. I guess it says something about the stuff that really matter. When he talks about all those 'unrelated things,' we immediately connect; when he begins to explain the next concept, we are automatically flung into another frequency.
I am not belittling Maths. And I did not drop Physics because I think it's a whole lot of crap. On the contrary, I enjoy Physics so much, that I cannot help talking about it or describing things in its terms. But these are not for me. There are mathematicians and physicists among my friends; it is their lot in life. It is not mine.
So why do I even give a fuck? Why must I slave through this (and please, for crying out loud, DON'T say: "because it builds character") if it is not my destiny? I see no good that can come out of endless sessions of pain, trying to understand something I will never use. Even Jacob didn't work hard for nothing: his prize was Rachel.
Some may point out that I must score in this so that I can pursue medicine. Well, to hell with it then. I'll do something else: I'll study literature, become a teacher. Work in Scripture Union (that is, if SU would ever put up with someone like me). Life is not a bed of roses, granted. But that does not mean we deliberately invite trouble by jumping into a pool of acid.
Maybe I should just switch to the arts stream. At least I may understand those concepts better, even if I cannot remember them all. And at least I may see something actually applicable there, something grounded in reality versus the scientific abstractions that are dealt with within the mind, and the mind alone.
Anyway, I tip my hat to those of you who are still reading. Thanks for listening to these ramblings. I think I'll just do the wisest thing anyone in my position can do: sleep. Maybe a nap will clear my mind a little.
Oh, and just one more thing: I also realise that I need not be in the editorial board. My list of extra-curricular exploits is already rather illustrious, and apparently with the advantage of having served in National Service, I have full points for local university admission. So why do I bother with the board? It is no longer something I need. Yet I do it for the joy of the whole endeavour.
Which is the opposite of Maths, which is something I do because I have to, deprived of all manner of joy. Ironically, nobody remembers the top scorers of the last decade. Yet the names of even the earliest editors are preserved, and the magazines kept intact for posterity. Maybe I'm still in the editorial board because it means something to me. Because I enjoy creating and writing and communicating.
Oh, screw it. When I wake up, I'll still have that pile of maths staring at me. Maybe I'll just burn the whole stack and tell Mr Leong that I misplaced the assignments. Though, he did say yesterday, "Ben, you're always so busy. I hope you can finish the work." Well what does it matter anyway? It's my life, after all.
So much for the way of the Force. So what if I'd rather be Sith?
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Terpelanting
Meet Li-Shia, again.
The main photo is one I took of her on the morning of Speech Day, Saturday. It's her characteristic terpelanting pose (think Japanese Anime, whenever those characters fall upside down or fly off the page).
In retrospect, I notice the grass and trees give it a rather rustic, country feel. Just imagine the baju kurung is a flowing nun's robe, and voila!, you have Maria from The Sound of Music.
On the other hand, the inset was taken today, on the third floor, outside my classroom. I put it up here because of the object in Li-Shia's hands: a bunch of keys.
Looking at them earlier, I was reminded of something Jesus said in Revelation ("I hold the keys of death and Hades") and of him giving Peter the 'keys of the kingdom.'
C.S. Lewis wrote in The Weight of Glory (and I paraphrase) that while civilisations, art, history and everything else we do will come to pass, yet it is immortals whom we talk, laugh and joke with, regale, insult, hurt and admonish.
Because of this, no one we meet is merely 'normal,' and everything we do (or don't do) to others, is helping them to one of two ends: either to immense glory that would induce worship were it revealed now, or to immense horror, the kind of which is found only in the worst nightmares.
The keys are in our hands; let us pray for wisdom to seek the kingdom in humility and simplicity. The Master says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and then these [things we need/want] also will be added to you."
And may we always remember to shed our indifference towards the immortals with whom we spend almost all of our waking hours.
(Thanks Li-Shia, for the inspiration that comes so often via madness. This entry is for you.)
The main photo is one I took of her on the morning of Speech Day, Saturday. It's her characteristic terpelanting pose (think Japanese Anime, whenever those characters fall upside down or fly off the page).
In retrospect, I notice the grass and trees give it a rather rustic, country feel. Just imagine the baju kurung is a flowing nun's robe, and voila!, you have Maria from The Sound of Music.
On the other hand, the inset was taken today, on the third floor, outside my classroom. I put it up here because of the object in Li-Shia's hands: a bunch of keys.
Looking at them earlier, I was reminded of something Jesus said in Revelation ("I hold the keys of death and Hades") and of him giving Peter the 'keys of the kingdom.'
C.S. Lewis wrote in The Weight of Glory (and I paraphrase) that while civilisations, art, history and everything else we do will come to pass, yet it is immortals whom we talk, laugh and joke with, regale, insult, hurt and admonish.
Because of this, no one we meet is merely 'normal,' and everything we do (or don't do) to others, is helping them to one of two ends: either to immense glory that would induce worship were it revealed now, or to immense horror, the kind of which is found only in the worst nightmares.
The keys are in our hands; let us pray for wisdom to seek the kingdom in humility and simplicity. The Master says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and then these [things we need/want] also will be added to you."
And may we always remember to shed our indifference towards the immortals with whom we spend almost all of our waking hours.
(Thanks Li-Shia, for the inspiration that comes so often via madness. This entry is for you.)
Melting Chocolate
The sun was absolutely glorious this morning. I took this shot from the third (or was it second?) floor of the Form Six Block.
I love the way the light streaks across the fluffy, textured clouds, almost as if the most majestic seas and skies were all rolled into one.
Times Square makes a rather excellent silhouette, and this brings to mind something Li-Shia said on the night of the VIOBA dinner; that Times Square looks like chocolate, and the KL Tower like a lollipop.
Now what if it were indeed a bar of chocolate, melting in the golden rays of the morning sun, flooding the streets of KL with warm fudge?
Not a bad thought, no?
I love the way the light streaks across the fluffy, textured clouds, almost as if the most majestic seas and skies were all rolled into one.
Times Square makes a rather excellent silhouette, and this brings to mind something Li-Shia said on the night of the VIOBA dinner; that Times Square looks like chocolate, and the KL Tower like a lollipop.
Now what if it were indeed a bar of chocolate, melting in the golden rays of the morning sun, flooding the streets of KL with warm fudge?
Not a bad thought, no?
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Seeds
The buildings in the background are not blurred by the haze, but by the tremendous shower earlier this afternoon.
Some say this is the effect of cloud-seeding. Whatever the cause, the rain was certainly welcome, although the haze had already cleared.
Reminds me, as rain always does, of that day at BLC in 2004 with Sivin, before the dinner with the debaters.
I doubt the metaphor was ever intended, but cloud-seeding suggests to me another analogy: the seed of the Word. If rains fall as a result of seeding clouds, then perhaps blessings and life only follow if we patiently sow into the kingdom, planting seeds in a soil we cannot see, for a harvest we may not reap.
To that end, it is difficult to be faithful. But it is for that very end that faith is required, and when there is nothing left in the darkness, it is all that will be needed.
Some say this is the effect of cloud-seeding. Whatever the cause, the rain was certainly welcome, although the haze had already cleared.
Reminds me, as rain always does, of that day at BLC in 2004 with Sivin, before the dinner with the debaters.
I doubt the metaphor was ever intended, but cloud-seeding suggests to me another analogy: the seed of the Word. If rains fall as a result of seeding clouds, then perhaps blessings and life only follow if we patiently sow into the kingdom, planting seeds in a soil we cannot see, for a harvest we may not reap.
To that end, it is difficult to be faithful. But it is for that very end that faith is required, and when there is nothing left in the darkness, it is all that will be needed.
After the Tattoo
Behold, the VI Cadet Corps Band, one of the greatest marching bands in the world, with the finest bagpipers outside Scotland!
From left: Hazim (to-be president of the band, and the best Drum Major I've seen in awhile), Sayyid (head of the brass section), Afiq (originally to-be president of the band, but leaving for Sunway College to do the Monash University Foundation Year), Ariffin (ex-prefect and rugby player; no longer in the VI), Helmi (drummer), Afri (head of the bagpipers), me, Jon, Li-Shia and Choon Wei.
Apart from Helmi, all the other bandsmen in the photo were my classmates, at least once in the last five years. It's great seeing them all up there, leading the band. And they are good people.
From little subordinates to influential leaders... it dawns upon me that next year, my form will helm the VI. Yet it seems like just yesterday that we entered this massive institution.
Reminds me of the aphorism, "Learn to take orders. You may give them someday." I am trying to learn humility. Pride is often the last enemy to enter the picture, for it does so only once a person is 'established,' but it is also the most stubborn tenant.
Perhaps that is why God breaks us from time to time: to remind us of who we are, of our humanity, of humour, of humility. It is not possible to laugh too much or too loud. To be able to take each stride in life with overwhelming joy...
From left: Hazim (to-be president of the band, and the best Drum Major I've seen in awhile), Sayyid (head of the brass section), Afiq (originally to-be president of the band, but leaving for Sunway College to do the Monash University Foundation Year), Ariffin (ex-prefect and rugby player; no longer in the VI), Helmi (drummer), Afri (head of the bagpipers), me, Jon, Li-Shia and Choon Wei.
Apart from Helmi, all the other bandsmen in the photo were my classmates, at least once in the last five years. It's great seeing them all up there, leading the band. And they are good people.
From little subordinates to influential leaders... it dawns upon me that next year, my form will helm the VI. Yet it seems like just yesterday that we entered this massive institution.
Reminds me of the aphorism, "Learn to take orders. You may give them someday." I am trying to learn humility. Pride is often the last enemy to enter the picture, for it does so only once a person is 'established,' but it is also the most stubborn tenant.
Perhaps that is why God breaks us from time to time: to remind us of who we are, of our humanity, of humour, of humility. It is not possible to laugh too much or too loud. To be able to take each stride in life with overwhelming joy...
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