Centre picture, L-R: Aaron, Lucas, Mark, Anila, Yi Jing, Michele, Shueh-Yi, Caleb, me, and Runa standing behind.
It was during his session on Tuesday (Day 2) that Francis Dunn asked, "Does anyone here know what the Greek word for 'fellowship' is?"
Francis: Let's ask Mark Teen; where is Mark Teen?
Ben (to Mark): Koinonia
Mark (to Francis): Ko-noi-na
Simon (to Ben): You told him!
Francis: Wah, he knows! Don't mess with Mark Teen!
If the believers are to hold all things in common, surely that goes for information as well!
Indeed, I will always remember the word koinonia, as it was the subject of my very first 'sermon' as president of the Christian Union last year.
Since it was a School Christian Fellowship Leaders' Camp, it is only fitting that one of my reflections be on the very subject of fellowship.
Francis used as a model of fellowship, the famous passage at the end of Acts 2, which I here reproduce verbatim from the Message:
They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. Everyone around was in awe--all those wonders and signs done through the apostles! And all the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person's need was met.
They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved.
I believe the Message very much speaks for itself, and I have little to add apart from my thoughts on something Francis said in his session about the 'ministry of wasting time.'
By all earthly standards, the effort we put into helping our friends (and in the case of leaders, our flock) develop as persons, is really a waste of time. The few tangible fruits, if any, rarely seem worth the toil.
But there is a sense of joy in being with one another, and I felt that to be true of our group, Peter, at camp; the committee had become a form of community, with Christ at its centre.
On the second night, during our group reflection, one of the fluorescent lights in the vending machine area (where we met each night) suddenly came on. Most likely, the light was somewhat weak and took a while to start up--but the symbol was too striking to be ignored.
Without being too philosophical or introspective, I find it virtually impossible to say anything about the nature of fellowship and/or community. It simply has to be experienced.
But the passage in Acts 2 indeed offers a concise, accurate and vivid portrait of what true fellowship is; I know because I have experienced it in my school's Christian Union, and in d'NA. And because, in my weakest moments, it is the immortals from whom these unions are forged, who keep me going.
So here's to koinonia past, present and future; indeed they will all be one and last forever at the consummation of all things, when finally the mortal fellowship that was built upon Christ, finds its eternal, glorious fulfilment in Christ.
With whatever little time I have on this earth, I think I will invest more in 'wasting time.' For though this sowing to the kingdom can often be more painful and pleasant, there is a grace that sustains the great adventure. And I am certain the Spirit is leading.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
NSCF 4: Koinonia
Monday, November 21, 2005
NSCF 3: Glimpses of God
These are various pictures of sunrises at STM, taken over the few days of camp. The purplish one iss pre-sunrise, and the shot at bottom-left is a glimpse of the misty mountain in the distance.
We arrived at the SU office on Saturday in time to witness the approaching storm (miraculously, the storm in Seremban began as soon as the last SU van left STM). Darryl and I spent some time waiting for lightning; we both met with success, mine a photo and his a video.
(Indeed, I like the juxtaposition of the lightning on the left, and the lamp-post on the right; what is the light of man compared to the light of God?)
I compiled this montage with the theme 'God is God' in mind. The song has ministered powerfully to me in the last few days especially. Reading the lyrics against the backdrop of these photos, I believe it is impossible to come to any other conclusion.
God is God
And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don't know
And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God
And the sky begins to thunder
And I'm filled with awe and wonder
'Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I
Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass
So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone
On Friday morning, before our reflection, Runa told us Max Lucado's story, 'You Are Special.' In the Master's eyes, we are special because we are his, not because of our achievements or status.
There are many who will not believe in God for this very reason; for it means that we can no longer take pride in ourselves for our own sake.
Augustine was right about the cry of the human heart: "Our hearts are restless till they find their rest in Thee."
God is God, and we are not.
NSCF 2: Common Ground
When Simon (left) and I stepped into room 2E12 (the very room Soo Tian and I shared for d'NA last year) at STM, we were joined shortly by Ken Jon (centre).
One of us--I cannot remember who--asked, "So who will be sleeping on the floor?" as the rooms there are meant for only two occupants and thus have only two beds.
Ken Jon remarked, "Is that a question or a statement?" to which we all laughed. He promptly marked the floor mattress as his. (I wonder if the fact that Simon and I are two years his senior, had anything to do with it).
Being somewhat ambitious, we opened a window on the first night, and did not rely on electric mosquito mats. In STM, this is usually invites hordes of the resident 'monsters.' However, before sleeping, we said a 'mantra':
Simon: "Mosquitoes, do not enter."
Ben: "Mosquitoes, do not enter."
Ken Jon: "Mosquitoes, do not enter."
All: "Amen."
None entered; if any did, none bit. Most of the other rooms either used mats, or shut their windows, or suffered casualties in the morning.
Simon and I awoke early on Tuesday morning, and made our way to the new pondok in the STM garden for some quiet before the day ahead. We switched on the light and had some fun with 'enlightenment.'
(Note: although the new 'hut' is pretty nice, it would've been somewhat more fitting to build it out of wood rather than concrete).
We moved to the edge of the garden facing east to await the sunrise; there, we were fiercely attacked by the mozzies. However, all was not lost, as I managed to shoot one of them (using my arm as bait) before smacking it.
On the second night, during group reflection, I suggested (much to the horror of my group) that the mosquitoes may really be agents of God to prevent campers from falling asleep during quiet time and/or prayer. Still, I must admit their incessant attacks may prove more a distraction than anything else.
Nevertheless, I will always remember a mosquito-wrought incident which brought more long-term good than evil: Jon's dengue fever at d'NA Stage One in 2003.
Throughout the second half of camp, virtually everyone was united in prayer for him. God used what was meant to harm, to bring us into a closer fellowship with one another.
All said and done, I am very grateful to Abba for answering my prayers for health. In the week before camp, I came into contact with flu-ridden friends in school (i.e. Denise) and was in many another position of vulnerability in that period.
But God kept me healthy during camp, in every sense of the word. Apart from some difficulty getting up on the last day (due to a really late night up on Friday--slept only at about 3:30 a.m.), the rest of camp was a joy-ride physically speaking.
His protection upon us all is indeed magnificent. We shall pick up serpents and be unharmed; we are bitten by Aedes and are spared from dengue. But for God's grace, not only would we not be in the pink of health--indeed, there would be no health to speak of.
NSCF 1: The Alien Commandant
Here begins a series of reflections on the NSCF camp, which was simply amazing beyond words. Do read Nigel's blog (link on sidebar) as well, to get a parallel idea of what it was like.
Anyway, to start with: these were some of the most fun photos taken. From top to bottom:
1. Nigel lying on the sanctuary floor with the evening sun streaming in. Looks like he's flying to infinity and beyond.
2. Nigel standing in the sanctuary, under the morning sun. Looks like he's being beamed up into space by aliens. (Indeed, one morning when Nigel woke up late, Uncle Jason--the SU General Secretary--said rather solemnly, "We have sad news. Nigel has been abducted by aliens.")
3. Nigel wearing Antony's night-vision goggles on the last night. Still need more convincing proof that our camp commandant is not of this earth?
It was really fun having him as the head officer; I think the experience was overwhelming for him too! But there's no turning back, and he's even landed an invitation to speak at SMK Damansara Jaya's CF camp next June.
The first of many such appointments, I am sure. Who knows where the path of a God-follower leads? (Hint: certainly, to infinity and beyond)
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Through flawed leaders
Once he spoke about the nature of God. He believed that when the Bible speaks of God being slow to anger, it means that God's anger accumulates, that is, once God's anger reaches its limit, it bursts out and nothing can stand in its way. He also asked if God is passionate. His answer was that God could not be passionate, or else he would be blinded by emotions.
In retrospect, I find his perspectives somewhat flawed; indeed, I believe God loves passionately, but with a kind of passion that is above that of mortals. I also do not believe that he who is love, can harbour anger; I do not believe the one who said 'forgive seventy times seven times' can accumulate his rage. Yes, God does get angry (just ask temple traders), but it is not the sort of anger that is allowed to brew within.
But I have not seen Marcus in some time, and perhaps he has grown much. For it occurred to me just now, that he was only a 17-year-old fifth former when he conducted those classes. Looking back, I realise just how foolish, presumptuous and overconfident I was back in the fourth and fifth forms.
Leaders and teachers will always be flawed, for we are all growing together, making mistakes together. I guess this is where humour comes in; without the ability to take everything with a pinch of salt (sugar will cause diabetes, see?) and to laugh along the way, we will become monuments of stone all too set in our ways.
It is like what Oswald Chambers said, "Huge waves provide a great thrill for the surfer who has learned to ride them," (or something to that effect). Without the capacity for laughter and fun along the journey, we will be afraid of the waves--afraid to take the plunge into the world of God.
Anyway, I owe a lot to Marcus. Every CU leader from the day I stepped into school until now, has left an indelible mark in my life, influencing me in various ways, shaping me into the person I am now. Marcus introduced me to Max Lucado, namely his book 'In the Grip of Grace,' which I consider, until today, one of the finest works I've ever read on the subject. And, as I have mentioned before, I learnt much of my writing from Max.
As I prepare and go for the NSCF Leaders' Camp tomorrow, I am reminded of the path my CU has taken, from Alvin through Marcus, Kenneth, Jonathan, me, Jeremiah and now Wilson. We are all imperfect people, struggling apprentices to a Divine Master. But somehow God has used every leader who came before me, and who's to say he won't continue doing that?
If it means anything at all, the journey my CU has taken only testifies to a God who is in the people-shaping business, moulding immortals out of flesh and bone. And that is precisely the path that lies before us: investing in the lives of people and not programmes, souls and not structures--developing those who count themselves among our 'flock.'
Thanks for the reminder, David ;-)
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Amidst the Dandelions
The dandelions were in full bloom (they have now been mercilessly mowed down) and the sun was shining brightly overhead (it still shines).
Li-Shia stayed back to wait for Ching Yeng, who was painting the Science and Maths Society's room with Chun Hong, Raveena and (I think) Kah Loong, and I was waiting for Mum.
It was a rather nice country-esque feeling, albeit on a much smaller scale, given the limited hilly land facing the Form Six block.
If only we were in vast, endless fields of dandelions and lavender (and in Li-Shia's case, with a chocolate river and soya bean fountain nearby, not to mention Sony T7s in abundance)!
...Bollywood is really going to sue me for this ;-)
That all my kingdoms fall...
Back then I was a much simpler person, engaged only in studies, the school Christian Union and some forays into the literary world. But NSCF opened up a whole new world for me, most of all where people were concerned. All of a sudden, I got to know people from across the country, including a music fanatic from Alor Setar and a lame joker from Singapore.
Above all, it opened the door into d'NA, via Yoshua. Before I knew it, I was absorbed into a community like none other, and I was constantly being challenged by spiritual dimensions then alien to me.
Two years down the road, I have been transformed, in no small measure by the people I met through these camps, into a blogger, photographer, amateur theologian and philosopher.
But the learning process has been a difficult one. I remember going into d'NA Stage One, very confident of my exceptional thinking ability (or so I thought), and then later concluding that critical thinking isn't everything. Now I have come to realise that none of what we have really matters; God simply wants us to give ourselves wholly to him--all that we are and ever hope to be--for his glory and not ours.
I was reading C.S. Lewis' essays 'Membership' and 'A Slip of the Tongue.' The former was concerned with our membership in the mystical body of Christ, while the latter (also his very last) discussed the necessity of seeking the things eternal. But both had in common the thread of yielding to God, abandoning ourselves completely to him, that we may be made truly ourselves.
The path of learning, of being humbled and broken by God, has taught me never to be overconfident of my abilities, but to surrender them to him, that in him alone they may find their true meaning and purpose.
And so, although this year I attend NSCF as a senior, with much experience and knowledge under my belt, I remain fully aware that I have much to learn from God and from my fellow campers and officers. In this race, I am constantly challenged by those who are lesser than me, especially in their simplicity and youthful zeal.
The words of Clay Crosse's song 'I Surrender All' (written by Regie Hamm and David Moffitt) keep reminding my of what it means to be a God-follower, to be an apprentice of Christ (incidentally this year's NSCF theme). I quote the song in part:
If the source of my ambition
Is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes
On a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision
Is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless
And my efforts are in vain
So I lay aside these trophies
To pursue a higher crown
And should you choose somehow
To use the life I willingly lay down
I surrender all the triumph
For it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory
I surrender all the praise
I surrender all
My silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow
Costs me everything
I surrender all
My human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all
Friday, November 11, 2005
The Trouble With Love Is
The Trouble With Love Is
Love can be a many splendoured thing,
Can't deny the joy it brings:
A dozen roses, diamond rings,
Dreams for sale and fairy tales.
It'll make you hear a symphony,
And you just want the world to see,
But, like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool you ev'ry time.
Chorus:
The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside,
Make your heart believe a lie.
It's stronger than your pride.
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall,
And you can't refuse the call.
See, you've got no say at all.
Now I was once a fool, it's true,
I played the game by all the rules;
But now my world's a deeper blue,
I'm sadder but I'm wiser too.
I swore I'd never love again,
I swore my heart would never mend,
Said love wasn't worth the pain,
But then I hear it call my name.
Chorus
Ev'ry time I turn around,
I think I've got it all figured out.
My heart keeps calling, and I keep on falling
Over and over again.
This sad story always ends the same:
Me standing in the pouring rain.
It seems, no matter what I do,
It tears my heart in two.
Chorus
Canine theology
And so it is with us, who were created to bring joy to our Master, God--we are the apple of his eye. When he created the universe and all in it, he took a step back, gazed upon it all, and proclaimed it 'very good.'
The problem with this is that people tend to think of bringing joy in terms of a court jester or a spoilt toy dog--as if we mainly exist for God to laugh at our expense. But that is our failure, not his.
My dog shares a very special bond with my family; indeed, the same is true of all other dogs who are loved by their owners. And if we can mean to world to our dogs, how much more should God be to us!
We in our benevolence towards our canine friends cannot begin to compare with God's goodness to us all. Yet it is our comparison with dogs that mocks us all the more: they are more faithful to us than we usually are to God.
At the end of the day, the dog greets the master with such explosive and contagious enthusiasm; yet God is a word frequently missing from the vocabulary of many a person, and often exists, if at all, as a swear word.
Maybe that's why dogs are considered to be man's best friend--they remind us so much of ourselves, and continue to encourage us in our adventure with the Great Father who is Lord of the canines and the humans and everything else.
What was God thinking?
Cornell won the Nobel Prize for Physics in 2001, and the article he wrote, What Was God Thinking? Science Can't Tell, was adapted from a speech that he gave for his induction into the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. It's really worth reading, especially if you're interested in religion and/or science. Click here.
The following is an excerpt from the article:
Let me pose you a question, not about God but about the heavens: "Why is the sky blue?" I offer two answers: 1) The sky is blue because of the wavelength dependence of Rayleigh scattering; 2) The sky is blue because blue is the colour God wants it to be.
My scientific research has been in areas connected to optical phenomena, and I can tell you a lot about the Rayleigh-scattering answer. Neither I nor any other scientist, however, has anything scientific to say about answer No. 2, the God answer. Not to say that the God answer is unscientific, just that the methods of science don't speak to that answer.
...As a theological idea, intelligent design is exciting. Listen: If nature is the way it is because God wants it to be that way, then, by looking at nature, one can learn what it is that God wants! The microscope and the telescope are no longer merely scientific instruments; they are windows into the mind of God.
...My call to action for scientists is, Work to ensure that the intelligent-design hypothesis is taught where it can contribute to the vitality of a field (as it could perhaps in a theology class) and not taught in science class, where it would suck the excitement out of one of humankind's great ongoing adventures.
...[D]on't say science disproves intelligent design. Stick with the plainest truth: science says nothing about intelligent design, and intelligent design brings nothing to science, and should be taught in theology, not science classes.
I believe Dr Cornell's perspective is a wise one. All this while, the 'God--no God' dilemma has been fought out mostly in the average school classroom. After all, how can two seemingly contradictory theories be taught simultaneously, without the bias falling upon one more than the other?
But here he takes as his basic assumption an oft-overlooked truth about science: it simply does not speak to the God answer. A microscope cannot detect sound waves; does that mean that sound does not exist, or that the microscope is faulty? No, it just wasn't designed for that purpose. Likewise, science was not designed to interpret God; it was designed to study the world. God cannot be 'detected' by science alone.
I say his suggestion is wise, because in any given class, there are only three kinds of student: the wise, the simple and the indifferent. It is clear that nothing matters to the indifferent except the lunch bell. So that leaves the wise and the simple.
The risk of teaching intelligent design in general classrooms is that the simple may fall into two equally erroneous pits; either to assume that everything happens by the 'will of God' and so to consider scientific research pointless, or else to find hard science more 'readily comprehensible' and so make no room for the invisible God.
It is fairly safe to say that the wise are not likely to be affected by any decision made within and for the classroom, for their education will naturally encompass a far greater breadth, in multiple disciplines and in various places. They are not restrained by systemic constraints.
And so, perhaps it is only best to teach what is at most a system of learning about the world, in the classroom. And then, the more discerning will always realise that science does not answer the God question; they will then seek the Creator wherever he is to be found, but they will not assume that he can be 'done in' by mere mortal methods. Nothing can change the myopia of the less discerning, and so it does not matter.
Perhaps it is for the more holistic good, that natural science and supernatural design are kept apart within the confines of formal education, for then they will not seem like enemies. Discovered in separate contexts, they may in fact become complementary areas of exploration for scientists and laypersons alike. Thus Cornell ends his article:
My argument here is offered in the spirit of trying to preserve science from its foes--but also from its friends.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Reflection
Whatever the case, there was so much laughter, we almost needed to contact MOX (Malaysian Oxygen) to supply us with oxygen gas tanks, heheh.
The lighting outside the lifts on the 10th floor was particularly encouraging, so we attempted this mirror shot. Came out rather well, I must say!
Glassy Sunset
The droplets left by the rain were still on the car's windows, and the sky was of a particularly mythical orange hue -- I like the idea of cascading colours against a dark backdrop, and orange and black certainly go well!
You can even spot a tiny air balloon in the distance ;-)
Saturday, November 05, 2005
d'NA: A Laughing Community
Someone has said that the only two organisations that are really changing people are twelve-step groups and the church. The common denominator behind the success of both is community. Change happens when we allow others into our lives.
It's hard to build deep, trustworthy friendships in today's shallow social climate... But let's just get over it. You and I desperately need some people in our lives who will attempt to love us unconditionally, who know us well enough to know when we are hiding something, who can get away with confronting us, and who can "spur [us] on toward love and good deeds" (Heb. 10:24).
Very much sounds like d'NA, although I dare say the d'NA is more like a twelve-step group than a church!
And here's some from Dallas Willard's 'The Divine Conspiracy':
There will be lots of laughter in heaven, you can be sure, as well as joy, for our finitude will always remain. Just imagine an eternity in which no one laughs!
And we should note that one of the things that disappear when we are grinding away at others with our condemnations, blamings, and "pearls" is, precisely, laughter. We become insufferably grim. But genuine shared laughter is one of the surest ways for human beings to come together and break the stalemates of life. It is essential to genuine community.
No wonder, then, that laughter is so good for our health. It is even a symbol of redemption, for there is no greater incongruity in all creation than redemption. When deliverance comes, "we are like those who dream: our mouth filled with laughter, our tongue with shouts of joy" (Ps. 126:1-2).
Here's to countless days of laughter to come, d'NAers!
Donne revisited
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
And the Olde English Version:
No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man
is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine;
if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe
is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as
well as if a Manor of thy friends or of thine
owne were; any mans death diminishes me,
because I am involved in Mankinde;
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
In our conversation, we also turned to the topic of gay marriage. It dawned upon me that, while people tend to share values, sometimes it seems like they preach opposites simply because of misconceptions and preconceptions.
It was somewhat providential that I read Dallas Willard's thoughts on non-condemnation in his 'Divine Conspiracy' earlier that afternoon, in which he points out that when Jesus spoke of 'judging not' because of the plank in our eye, that plank is not some inherent weakness or blind spot, but in fact the act of condemnation itself.
Lian Jen is for gay marriage; I am not. It seems so difficult, these days, to uphold absolute right on wrong on the one hand, and yet maintain a spirit of non-condemnation. And many who mean well, end up bringing more hurt than help. Again, it is like the man who tried to safe fish from drowning by pulling them out onto land.
But Jesus did it. No one was and is or ever will be more morally upright and unflinching than he, and yet no one was more widely accepted as a friend by virtually every level of society. Would that we, his followers, could emulate that.
Honestly, I don't know what Jesus would say about these moral dilemmas plaguing today's society, let alone how he would say it. But I do believe his spirit of love would be more powerful and pervasive than anything we could throw at it.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Nights of Fire
After leaving Toch's, having spent nearly three hourse there, I reached Raveena's at about 4 o'clock.
This was a comparatively small-scale event, but far noisier! I had my first go at fireworks (yes, in my entire life), and it was a really fun time of meaningful conversation and lessons learnt at the dining table.
For one: never pop ghee cookies whole into your mouths. (Fiona, if you read this, don't get stomach cramps!)
It is my pleasure to introduce our lead pyrotechnician, Kavin (Raveena's 12-year-old brother) in the picture above (and the silhouette below).
And in the central picture, from left to right, are Sharveena (Raveena's 16-year-old sister), Fiona, Raveena and yours truly.
(The background photo came from a Yahoo! picture search).
Playing with fireworks reminded me of the words written on the back of my General Chemistry textbook, on whose front cover is a picture of fireworks:
"The pyrotechnician combines his knowledge of chemistry with his love for art, to paint the sky with colour."
Monday, October 31, 2005
Parents
"Every happy family is alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
But I am inclined to believe that it is for this very reason that God puts us with (or even pits us against) our parents. If the obstacles to building strong relationships with our parents can be overcome, I doubt there are many higher hurdles awaiting us out there.
Dealing with parents is an exercise in learning patience, wisdom, love, forgiveness and grace, among other defining values of character. Sometimes it's like the U2 song 'With or Without You':
With or without you, with or without you
I can't live with or without you
(OK, I admit. The lyrics don't mean much. But the music is simply soaring. Do listen to it if you get the chance).
I realise that my parents are neither unreasonable nor ignorant, that they simply want the best for me. But sometimes this has the effect of the man who wanted to save the fish from drowning. The story goes, that he saw fish swimming in the sea. So he had pity on them, and pulled them onto the land to save them from drowning. Needless to say, they all died.
However, the parallel ends there. The man's intentions were good, but his understanding was seriously flawed. The difference is this: my parents intentions are good, and their understanding often beyond my comprehension. I am a fish, but not merely that; I am a fish destined one day to be a land animal.
It is as C.S. Lewis wrote in his 'Reflections on the Psalms.' He commented on how we find time so alien an entity (hence exclamations like "How time flies!" and "My, how you've grown!"), and goes on to say:
"It is as if a fish were repeatedly surprised at the wetness of water. And that would be strange indeed; unless of course the fish were destined to become, one day, a land animal."
The argument that 'my parents are from another generation/era/epoch/universe' holds about as much water as a sieve. Rather, I am inclined to think that my parents look at me from 'the other side' -- they've been where I am (exact circumstances make no difference), and they want me to go further than they did. They are not detracting me from my path, but are helping me make the most of it.
Recently, I have learned that age and experience do bring with them certain depths of wisdom that cannot come with any amount of study and training. For instance, I know that it is common for most teenagers to consider as spiritually mature, those of their peers who seem to be 'deep,' i.e. saturated with much theological and Biblical knowledge. I was one of these, what with my relatively extensive reading.
But now I know that maturity goes beyond that, and it takes many failures and emotional blows to build character -- something that only comes with life, and life alone.
I suppose it's like Big Fish (the book and the movie), in which the son could never quite understand why his father never told him the 'truth' about his life, but resorted instead to legendary tales of marvellous deeds and experiences. But in the end, the son himself slowly assumes the role of storyteller, and the cycle begins again. Or so it seems.
What really happens, I think, is that the father's story becomes one with the son, and the legacy that's left behind is not so much the father's great feats and great failings, but the father himself.
And so, I will press on, and seek to love my parents more, knowing that one day I'll expect the same of my children.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Dear Ming
These words are not my own, but they serve to give voice to that which my heart wishes to say. May you find encouragement in them.
If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be
And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me
In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes
And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you
If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true
I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you
There's no moment I regret
Since the moment that we met
If our time has gone too fast
I've lived at last...
And If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Empty as the sky
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you
Abundant Life
Paradise Live was very much like the Planet Shakers' Nights of Fire concert in Kluang during the d'NA reunion there in early June, except this group was from the Paradise Community Church in (if I remember correctly) Adelaide, led by Pastor Matt Heins and Guy Sebastian.
What a pleasant surprise it was to bump into Sam there! And after the concert, another pleasant surprise to bump into Pei Wern and Pei Yi ;-)
I decided to experiment a little with this montage. Being a vertical succession of photos, I thought of doing a film-strip design, as you can see.
What I like most about it, is that it seems to capture the spirit of the moment better than other forms of montage, which serve to give an overall frozen picture.
(Should I experiment with my hair as well, maybe something like Pei Yi's orange streaks?)
Adventure
Matt SMS-ed me just as service ended, saying he would be at MPH Mid Valley until 1:45 p.m. I took the opportunity to meet him and his friends Rachel and Shim Ron for lunch at Delifrance (arriving via bus from the Bangsar LRT station).
After that, they left with their teacher for Pygmalion at the KL Performing Arts Centre (KLPAC), while I hopped on the Komuter to Seputeh to meet Sivin. He picked me up on the way back from the Bangsar Shopping Centre.
It was an afternoon well spent, talking about our various friends and recent developments in circles like d'NA and Emergent among others. Sivin also passed me the Renovare Spiritual Formation Bible which I ordered some time ago via David Berry. RM 130, but I believe it's a good investment.
At about half-past four, Dad came to pick me up for the Paradise Live concert at church. But that's a story for my next entry.
After Sunset Mass
After Mass, we had dinner at the Ipoh Chicken Rice shop down the road. Esther shocked us all by downing about six saucers of chilli sauce (see bottom right pic).
It happens that Sean and I wore the same colours (bottom left), heheh...
Anyway, I finally know where Esther lives -- just down the road perpendicular to mine, in the same mini-taman. The world is indeed a small place.
Oh, and Esther had a rather bizarre encounter with accidental generosity at Mass. If you happen to speak to her, don't forget to bring this up ;-)