24 Crazy Hours... and some other thoughts

How much can happen in twenty-four hours? A lot, apparently!

This entry is dedicated to three very special people. You know who you are.

* * * * *

It began with the PKV Committee meeting on the night of 25 September. We convened to select the next committee.


Some will leave, some will stay. Some of those leaving will be handing over their mantle to some of those staying. And some, though not staying, will always remain in the ministry, serving in capacities outside the committee itself.


It was good to remember mercy and grace that night. There we were at the foot of the cross, where we in our guilt and dirt are able to seek a new life, a second chance... again and again.

It was good to remember that if our Master can use us, he can use anybody. Who are we to say what the potter can or can't use for his pottery, or what the chef can or can't use for his dish? I was reminded of Frederick Buechner's words;

"We are fools for Christ's sake," Paul says. You can't put it much more plainly than that. God is foolish too, he says--"the foolishness of God"--just as plainly. God is foolish to choose for his holy work in the world the kind of lamebrains and misfits and nitpickers and holier-than-thous and stuffed shirts and odd ducks and egomaniacs and milquetoasts and closet sensualists as are vividly represented here by you and me..."

--Frederick Buechner, 'The Road Goes On'


Some of us adjourned to Mapley for supper.


If I had the time, maybe I would lie on a couch and pay somebody a thousand pounds an hour to tell me what my friends could tell me on a night out in Dublin.

--Bono, U2

When I read these words two nights ago, I realised it was the very experience I've always had with the d'NAers, and the very experience I had that night, in the wee hours of Friday the 26th, sitting in Kaun's car and confessing things we'd never confess were we in more stable frames of mind.

Personalities will not break up U2. Musical differences will not break up U2. We'll break up because somebody squeezed the toothpaste from the wrong end.

--Larry Mullen Jr, U2

And guess what? It also happens that we talked about toothpaste in the car! Li Ern and Kaun swear by squeezing from the bottom, while I just whack the tube from the middle. I can't remember Ai Wei's choice... :-P


We drove up Bukit Cinta in an attempt to catch the sunrise, but it was an overcast dawn. So we went down to KPS in hopes of better prospects at the lake. Ruth joined us at KPS, and though half-asleep, we were still able to reflect on the Word and pray.

Once we were done, Ann Gie passed us on the way to her class.

(One of the perks of using a super wide-angle: camwhore-style group shots... if you don't mind the inevitable distortion, that is.)

So we returned to our respective colleges to retire for awhile, before getting up for PKV Meeting at 12.00 p.m. (I had to get up earlier as I was to run through the songs with Suzanne.)


Sivin loves post-meeting makan sessions. I suppose that is why BLC always serves 'lunch' after service every Sunday. "That's where the real conversations are," he says.

(This wasn't a posed shot. It happens I pressed the shutter at that very moment; even I didn't know it at the time.)

He came to speak on Elijah, and challenged us to play our part in continuing the prophetic ministry of Jesus Christ. "Maybe this is more of a Bible Exploration than a Bible Exposition." Well said, Sivin!


Ai Wei failed to wake up for PKV Meeting and was most shocked when I called to tell her it was already 3.00 p.m. Nonetheless, we had a great evening with Tim and Li Ern at Mid Valley. (Many thanks to Kaun for sending us there; he decided not to join us as he had to work that evening.)

Tim dropped Li Ern off at college as she had an appointment with friends at Saisaki in KL (where she had seven scoops of ice-cream... dessert perfection), while Ai Wei and I watched Mamma Mia! after shopping at Carrefour (she needed supplies for the Raya break, during which she would be staying in college) and having a snack at McDonald's.

Tim later joined us for 'dinner' at the mamak restaurant opposite Starbucks. The twenty-four hours were taking their toll on me, and I fell asleep over a plate of finished ghee thosai. And so the adventure ended when Tim sent me and Ai Wei back to college.

I had barely enough rest before the next day dawned upon me: eight hours at Rimba Ilmu followed by Popo's birthday dinner.

* * * * *


Sivin, Yen and Adelene use the Canon Powershot A720 IS, which I unreservedly recommend as easily the best compact camera out there in terms of balance of performance and affordability. Those with too much money should get the Canon Powershot G9 IS.

No prizes for guessing who's most likely to upgrade to an SLR! ;-)

* * * * *

I have been reading Micah of late, and these are four verses that continue to encourage and challenge me. I firmly believe that if the first could come true, so can the other three, for I yearn for the day when I shall be free from sin.

"But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
though you are small among the clans of Judah,
out of you will come for me
one who will be ruler over Israel,
whose origins are from of old,
from ancient times."

"I will destroy your carved images
and your sacred stones from among you;
you will no longer bow down
to the work of your hands."

"Because I have sinned against him,
I will bear the LORD's wrath,
until he pleads my case
and establishes my right.
He will bring me out into the light;
I will see his righteousness."

"You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea."

--Micah 5:2,13; 7:9,19 (NIV)

It was timely for Sivin to speak on Elijah, and to remind us that the greatest sin has always been idolatry, i.e. the sin of substituting the true God with a fake. In this present age, it gets more subtle. Few will fall for a block of wood or stone, but haven't we carved careers and manufactured dreams we worship?

Do we always strive to be made in God's image, or are we at times (or perhaps even often) found yearning after man's image, or our own image?

* * * * *

Yesterday, I read this in The Star:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/9/29/nation/2144360&sec=nation

Ali Rustam (Malacca's Chief Minister) is using biodegradable (even edible!) plates made from tapioca at his Hari Raya Open House. I'd really love to be there to experience this landmark moment.

I don't think we need any more proof that polystyrene and plastic packaging (especially polystyrene, which is not only non-biodegradable, but also non-recyclable) is not the way to go.

Point is, we have the intelligence, we have the expertise, we have the technology. What we don't have, and yet ironically what all of us can supply, is the demand.


Selamat Hari Raya, Malaysia!

Going Places: Ecology Begins!

This semester has been defined by labwork and field trips, punctuated frequently by PKV intervals.

What follows is a brief glance at the field trips we've been on so far. The visit to the Klang Gates Ridge is featured on my birthday entry.

* * * * *

Insect Biology: Ulu Gombak, 29-31 August

We spent three days over the Merdeka weekend at the Ulu Gombak Field Studies Centre, which belongs to UM. It is a popular place with foreign scientists, and Prof Sofian said that a team from the University of Cambridge once gassed a single tree and collected the insects that fell from it; five years elapsed and they still hadn't finished studying the specimens.


This is one of my favourite pictures from the trip, and I daresay my best of Thary (or the future Professor Thary) to date.


Professor Dr Sofian Azirun, lecturer and one of the Deputy Deans of the Science Faculty. The wild durians were ripe and a number of us feasted on them while hiking in search of insects.


Something between a fossil and a hidden treasure, Haji Mokhtar Ibrahim (or Pak Haji as we call him) has been serving the university since the days when Professor Sofian was an undergraduate. He's retired, but still roped in on field trips and lab sessions because of his vast knowledge and experience.


On a clump of Sealing Wax Palms (Cyrtostachys lakka) near the classroom building at the centre, a Signature Spider nests. Here, the male (much smaller, to the left) is presumably approaching the female prior to mating. I'm not sure if the dead insect in the female's jaws is a gift from the male, but it could well be.


Is the spider in the sky, or is its web over a pool of water, or neither? It was a most unusual angle, and I think the only thing ruining the picture is the dust on the spider's web, which unfortunately looks like in-camera dust.


We had to aggressively keep watch over our insect specimens as this colony of ants was very efficient in translocating insects placed on the windowside worktop where the microscopes were. To give an idea of scale, the needle piercing the moth is so thin it can travel through a human's blood capillaries.


In general, and in principle, Thary has little patience for my photography. Unless, however, I am photographing a subject he is greatly interested in, which explains the shot of the Baeckea at the Klang Gates Ridge, and this. On our way back from exploring the river on the evening of Day 2, Thary spotted this giant millipede. A rather lengthy photoshoot naturally ensued.


On the third day, Shannon and I rose early to make time exposures of the river in the early morning light. It was a fun experience, and I will always remember this river as the agent that stole How's appetite.


This is the class, after we'd collected samples from a river not far from the centre. I'm loving my Gorillapod more and more!


On the night of 30 August, I realised this was my first Merdeka without fireworks. At home, or anywhere in town, it would be possible--even inevitable--to hear the fireworks. But there we were, isolated in a jungle not far from the city, yet far enough to shield us from the sound of celebration.

As I reflect on the noise in the country (celebratory, political and otherwise) versus the voice of God in the wilderness, it became a little clearer to me what my calling might be.

It was as if God was saying, "People will shout for all kinds of reasons and for as long as they have the voice to shout. But put your hand to the work that will last forever; be a steward of that which I have created and keep working. Keep working no matter who the rulers are or what they say. Here in the wilderness you will find Me."

And perhaps, in the wilderness also, I found myself.

* * * * *

Advanced Ecology: Pulau Ketam, 1 September

We were supposed to study the ecology of kampung populations as one of our projects for the course (which, by the way, should be called 'Basic Ecology'). So about half the class went to Ulu Yam and half to Pulau Ketam. All of this was done in the absence of Prof Susan, who was away in France at the time.


So infertile is the soil, that almost all non-mangrove plants must be cultivated in specially prepared (i.e. imported from the mainland) soil. This is one place you won't find papaya trees growing out of drains.


Pulau Ketam is famous for its seafood restaurants, but I never imagined their temples would be adorned by statues of seafood! What happened to the more common phoenix and dragon?


Bicycles and boardwalks; the quintessence of connection and communication on Pulau Ketam. This is proof that my camera's LCD screen doesn't do justice to shadow detail; during playback in-camera, I couldn't see the bicycle.

* * * * *

Tropical Forest Ecology: FRIM, 6 September


I used the wide-angle for this shot of the class beneath the majestic Dryobalanops aromatica (a.k.a. crown-shyness) trees. Here, Mr Yong is describing the Ganoderma fungus.


One of the things I remember most on this trip was what Mr Sugu said when we were in a rather narrow stretch of the trail.

"If you can't hear me, try to pack a little closer. If there's no space on the trail, walk into the forest [i.e. stand between the trees]. Pelajar ekologi hutan tropika tak boleh takut kotor, tak boleh takut pacat, tak boleh takut pokok. [Tropical forest ecology students must not be afraid of dirt, leeches or trees.]"

* * * * *

Marine Ecosystems: Morib, 20 September

Sampling of organisms in the Littoral or Intertidal Zone along the beach at Pintu Gedong. Our trip was timed to coincide with the tide, which was expected to be at its lowest around 3.00 p.m. We arrived by 1.00 and so had time to familiarise ourselves with some of the locals at Morib, namely...


The common Long-tailed Macaque (Macaca fascicularis) is extremely comfortable around humans here.


And yes, they are gluttons. Come armed with biscuits or any other tidbits; they make an excellent bait if you want to observe or photograph the macaques up-close.


Professor Chong Ving Ching, present Head of the Ecology and Biodiversity division at UM.


Digging for burrowing organisms during low tide. We found a good number of clams, crabs, snails and worms. From left: Shannon, Divya, Noni and Azizi. Shannon was the only fellow ecologist in our group; the other three are Environmental Management students.


There were also a number of pigeons on the coast. This was shot while I chased one of them; I really should do this more frequently...

* * * * *

Tropical Forest Ecology: Rimba Ilmu Herbarium, 27 September

Shannon, How, Thary, Saiedah and I missed the trip to Gunung Ulu Kali (in the vicinity of Genting Highlands) as it clashed with our Insect Biology field trip. So we had to substitute it with a day's work at Rimba Ilmu.

(Dad is right; these trips should be planned in advance so as not to clash. Mr Sugu planned the Tropical Forest Ecology trips at the beginning of the semester, but Prof Sofian took some time. The clash could have been avoided.)

At first, Mr Yong intended for us to help clean up the Shade House in the botanic garden, but the officer in charge wasn't around on Saturday; nevertheless, Shannon and I have volunteered to help out whenever it might be done. So it was that we spent some eight hours mounting plant samples (leaves, fruit, buds etc) for the Herbarium's vault collection.


These ominous lockers store innumerable plant mounts which collectively serve as a plant identification database.


Mr Yong greeted us that morning in pyjama-like (i.e. very homely) trousers and a large-ish mug. It made the few of us wonder if he spent the night at Rimba Ilmu. (This picture was taken towards the end of our session.)

Thoughts after Amazing Grace

We watched Amazing Grace during PKV Meeting last Friday. These are some of the lines that stirred me most.


"I don't just dust your books, sir."
William Wilberforce's manservant, when Wilberforce was surprised he quoted Francis Bacon.

"We're too young to realise some things are impossible."
William Pitt to Wilberforce, looking futurewards.

"For God's sake, see it through!"
John Newton to Wilberforce, who was veering between life as a minister and an abolitionist.

"I was blind, but now I see. And now it is true!"
Newton, almost blind, reflecting on the experience of dictating his life story. It was only much later in life that he became a Christian in the full sense of the word.


My favourite conversation in the movie takes place at the brink of the French Revolution and Napoleonic wars, at a time when any Englishman seeming to go against the Crown and popular English opinion would be easily considered guilty of sedition.

Wilberforce was frustrated that Pitt, his good friend, seemed somewhat conservative in his opinions and advice.

"As your Prime Minister I urge caution."
"And as my friend?"
"Oh, to hell with caution."

PKV Convo 2008: Pictures Up!

Follow this link:

http://pkvconvo08.blogspot.com


All pictures copyright (c) Persaudaraan Kristian Varsiti Universiti Malaya 2008.

Two Thoughts on Ecology

While walking George last weekend, it occurred to me that very little specialist knowledge is employed in ecology.

It is a statement that must be qualified; what I mean is that we don't learn about nucleotide base sequences or learn how to cultivate and examine bacterial cultures, much less perform analyses on the biochemistry of organisms. Of course, all of these can be gainfully applied in ecology, but one doesn't need such knowledge to do ecology.

When Dr Normaniza Osman said a year ago that students in the Ecology & Biodiversity and Environmental Management divisions simply jalan-jalan cari makan, she was not at all wrong.

While walking George, I was convinced that ecology is about walking about and making trips to all sorts of places and seeing all the life around us. It's about opening our eyes to the wonders 99% of humanity rushes by.

And so there really isn't much specialist 'knowledge', unless you take into account the plethora of scientific names and classification maps we are subject to. In just two months I have learnt so much more than I ever had in the last 21 years of my life; one would think I was some sort of god the way some of my friends react when I make random comments on the plants and animals we casually encounter.

* * * * *

Talking to Li Ern this morning about long-distance relationships and prayer and waiting for God's answers, I realised just how much training to be an ecologist has shaped me in these areas.

Of all the fields of biology (and perhaps also in many other scientific and non-scientific disciplines), ecology is the only one in which the biologist/practitioner cannot force something to happen. The biotechnologist can tweak with an organism's genes until a favourable progeny is obtained; the microbiologist can play around with the yeast culture; the engineer perfects the device to suit given requirements; the farmer manipulates the land to produce a good crop.

But the ecologist confronts his/her subject (i.e. nature) on its own terms. Nothing can be done to make Proboscis Monkeys appear where there are none. And ecology involves a lot of waiting, especially where animal observation is concerned. Even when it comes to plants, a lot of waiting may be involved; seed dormancy may result in the temporary scarcity of plants generally considered to be abundant in an area.

* * * * *

Waiting, observing, approaching not on my own terms, throwing myself into a world larger, wilder and more fascinating than anything I can ever imagine...

This must be where I was born to be.

;-)

Not quite the same Warna-warna Angin

You think you own whatever land you land on
The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew

Have you ever heard the croc roar at the setting sun
Or asked the hiding bearcat why he hid?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain?
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?

Come run the obvious mud trails of the mangroves
Come taste the thorny durians of the earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The egret and the civet are my friends
And we are all connected
In a cirle, in a hoop that never ends

Have you ever heard the croc roar at the setting sun
Or let the eagle tell you there he's been?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain?
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?

How high does the tualang grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know

And you'll never hear the croc roar at the setting sun
For whether we are white or coffee-skinned
We just sing with all the voices of the mountain
Need to paint with all the colours of the wind

You can own the earth and still
All you'll own is earth until
You can paint with all colours of the wind

* * * * *

(So did you spot the differences?)

The amazing things that happen when a half-asleep girl comments that her breakfasting friends might see the same painting yet regard it differently.


Six days in Sabah. Coming soon.

Twenty-One and Quartzite Heath

So I turned twenty-one not too long ago.

Seven photographs interspersed with six gifts. A glimpse into the three-fold celebration; college, PKV committee and family.

* * * * *


Yen orchestrated the celebration at 3rd College. Luke came all the way from UPM; Ai Wei and Li Ern joined from 12th and 1st Colleges respectively. Thanks, Luke!


After saving up for some time, I was finally able to afford this; I decided to coincide the purchase with the month of my birth and the second anniversary of my foray into the world of SLR photography. Tokina's 11-16mm f/2.8 wide-angle lens was responsible for the key seven pictures in this part of the post, which demonstrate in part what the lens can, and can't, do.


For instance, the lens will allow group shots in tight locations. Just don't use it with the camera's built-in flash, or the lens's shadow will appear at the bottom of the picture!


Yen's gift (Truman Capote's In Cold Blood) was hidden under layers of wrapping which each bore a task; there were hurdles as varied as posing for a photo with a junior to flashing a cold-blooded grin. Here, Luke and I are doing the two-face (or half-face?) look; the actual task was something else, but this is how we interpreted it.


The second part of my birthday celebration saw Kee Aun, Ai Wei, Li Ern and me trekking through Petaling Street in search of gifts for the graduating PKV seniors. There, we met this lady selling mochi. The mochi was lovely, the lens's work lovelier, and the lady, loveliest.


Before we left from Taman Jaya station, we bumped into Kee Aun's college senior, Roy, who works at the A&W there. That night, after the long day out, we (now including other members of the committee) found ourselves in A&W once again. I asked Roy to mix my Root Beer with something--anything--else as it was my birthday. He decided instead to throw about four scoops of ice-cream into the mug. Thanks, Roy!


We ended our short stay at Pavilion with a stopover at J.Co Donuts. This is how vertical close-up group shots look, shot with a wide-angle lens: observe Shannon's distorted shorts.


Leanne and family gave me this singing card. I've never received a singing card so you can imagine my surprise when I opened it!


Kee Aun descending the escalator leading out of Pavilion, towards KLCC. He, Zach and I were travelling by train to meet the rest at A&W; Shannon's MyVi wasn't quite Doraemon's pocket enough.


Sara also gave me a card, and a very unique one at that. She had a collection of animal stickers and so drew various habitats, sticking the animals amidst bushes, in the sea and on trees. The perfect card for an ecologist brother!


On Saturday, I celebrated at home with my family. Mum prepared a fantastic menu, which included Sara's rambutan yoghurt ice-cream as dessert. It was a great meal, especially since it will be some time before I can once again enjoy food so lovely. But that's a story for another day.


Dad and Mum got this for me. It's called Once Again, Again and is one of Swatch's latest watches, this year's special edition Club Watch. What makes it significant to me is that its design is a play on Once Again, the watch many will recognise it as the 'classic' Swatch first launched in the early 80s. The most recent Once Again was the watch Kung Kung wore till the day he died, and which I wore after that till it, in turn, died.


Denise is going to accuse me of copying her birthday idea! Mum prepared a key-shaped arrangement of cupcakes, departing from the usual cake. And I was wearing red.

Of course, Mum knew nothing about Denise's birthday theme. It was just so coincidental, heheh...


Some of the best gifts I received this year were gifts of words.

SooT's SMS was really special;

2 + 1 = august 18. 2 + 1 = one2many partners. 2 + 1 = a cross between a toad n a swan. 2 + 1 = a man meets a cyclops. 2 + 1 = 21. Happy 21st birthday, dear ben!

Victor & Munteng's gave me a notebook with this quote on the cover;

"Love generously. Praise loudly. Live fully." - Elias Porter


Yet there is one (material) gift which I really treasure receiving this year, perhaps even more than my lens. Unfortunately I am unable to blog about it at the moment, so it will have to wait.

* * * * *

A week later, I found myself on the Klang Gates Quartzite Ridge (the area commonly known to the locals as Bukit Tabur), the longest quartzite ridge in the world. It was the first field trip for my Tropical Forest Ecology class, and we were studying the heath forest in the area.

I decided to test my new lens on a 'real' landscape. The following pictures were all shot at 11mm (16.5mm equivalent on a film-based camera).


How didn't manage to complete the whole journey; this was his first appearance in a class since recovering from chickenpox. So, escorted by Mr Yong, he went down while the rest of us journeyed on, but not before I made this picture (albeit by accident!).


Thary really liked this particular tree. It is a Baeckaea frutescens tree, a.k.a. cucur atap in Malay. Technically, it is a type of myrtle, coming from the same family as the well-known tea tree and likewise bearing leaves with fragrant oils.


The quartzite ridge was full of near-vertical outcrops, and climbing was often challenging. Here, Shannon is scaling down one of the outcrops. The view of the dam was beautiful, even at midday. I can only imagine it would be much more breathtaking at dawn.


It was How's birthday, so the four of us celebrated with lunch at the new Nando's in Jaya One. Perhaps the words behind How are a fitting epithet for the kind of celebration he would find ideal!

* * * * *

Throughout the week between the moving of the PKV Booth and How's birthday, UM had its Convocation Week. I was busy running the PKV's Convo Celebration with Pik Tze and Samantha. You can find pictures on:

pkvconvo08.blogspot.com

The 'blog' is up and running, but there's lots more to be added. Also, I haven't put up a copyright notice; basically all the pictures will be attributed to the PKV. At some points, the camera changed hands so frequently that it would be a futile (or perhaps forensic?) effort to precisely identify the people responsible for each photo.


This is one of my favourite pictures from the Convo Week. Partly because it demonstrates the sort of stuff wide-angles were made for, but mainly because so many stories are captured in this single frame, if you take time to observe and look across the room.


Recently I watched Kingdom of Heaven again. As I type this, I cannot help but notice how the theme of seniors and their legacies seems to mirror what King Baldwin told Balian in the movie:

"You see, none of us choose our end, really. A king may move a man, a father may claim a son. But remember that, even when those who move you be kings or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone.

When you stand before God, you cannot say that I was told by others to do thus, or that virtue was not convenient at the time. This will not suffice."

Because of them, in no small way, we are who we are. And celebrating them is, in my opinion, in fact celebrating their faithfulness, their determination, their sacrifice, and above all their neverending quest to seek virtue over convenience.

* * * * *

The week ahead is the first of three holiday weeks this semester (the next being Hari Raya and the following being the study break), and I look forward to sorting some loose ends out.

Also, tomorrow is a very special day. More on that later.

I pray it will be a week in which I will learn much and be prepared for the weeks ahead. A week of pause and rest (even if it may be busy) with much time for reflection and a renewing of my sense of direction this semester.


Amen.

Return of the Blogger

So what have i been up to since the last entry on 11 June? It's been 53 days, and an entire month has passed without any updates here.

* * * * *

First of all, I went on a short-term mission trip to Sarawak. That was STOMP (Students Together on Mission Partnership), organised by the Fellowship of Evangelical Students (FES). A detailed report on that will come soon.

The whole chain of busyness started when, on the last night in Sarawak, I SMS-ed Arivin, asking if he needed any help with the college's debate team during the Orientation Week (Haluansiswa). He said yes and, as the week went by, they did well... very well. So much so that I was engaged throughout the week in campus and so was able to observe quite a bit of the Haluansiswa.


Yu Deng and Krystle found the cheers and antics of the supporters from college a great confidence booster.


Haluansiswa was followed by the Interaction Week in college (Minggu Interaksi Kurshiah, a.k.a. MIK). I was a lot less involved with the MIK, but coming to terms and psyching myself to cope with a really hectic schedule proved to be quite a challenge in the first week of this semester. My only free stretch is on Thursday afternoons, and even so it will only last until the middle of the semester, after which my days will generally begin at 9.00 and end at 5.00.

I found myself playing guitar and singing on the last night of the MIK, per Jimmy's request. Esther, Jee Haw, Amos and Wee Keng were sporting enough to join in and help me butcher Michael Jackson's 'Heal the World' and The Beatles' 'Hey Jude'. Actually, it was supposed to be me and How, and we'd independently thought of the same song (U2's 'Running to Stand Still') but he'd already decided to go home for the weekend.


12 July brought some respite in the form of an MPO concert my friends and I had been waiting nearly a whole semester for. Xiao Lee, Joana, Ming-Shien, Leanne, Sean and Ai Wei were able to make it for the MPO's performance of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, and I was glad to have been able to make up for the time I missed it three years ago due to chickenpox.

However, Kenneth, Wan Yu, Chian Ming, Su Lin and Chee Seong pulled out last minute; Chee Seong on the day itself due to some motor accident or car breakdown (I can't remember which). We managed to find some replacements in Adrian, Shannon and Rachael Wong. Dad, Mum and Sara were also there.

The week after found me returning to debates after a semester's absence. However, I am not sure if I will be able to cope with the regular training schedule given my already hectic timetable and desire to rest and draw away more regularly this semester. So far I've attended two (or three) sessions, and without fail I have been feeling extremely drowsy at each.


On the Tuesday of the week of PKV's MSK (Malam Suai Kenal, a.k.a. Introduction Night), I joined Denny, Pei Yi, Pei Wern, Shi Hui and Esther at Telawi Street Bistro for supper. Denny picked me up from college in his BMW; it was quite late and I'd managed to get some sleep while waiting.

It has been ages since I last met Esther.


Another oasis came in the form of the PKV Committee 'Retreat' at Rachael's house on Friday, 25 July. It was good riding in Shannon's van with him drumming on the steering wheel, eating one-and-a-half packets of chicken rice, listening to Rachael's mother share, and slapping colours on each other! (Perhaps next time we should literally have a 'paint the committee member' session!)

After that we caught the 12.30 a.m. screening of The Dark Knight at 1 Utama, and bumped into Joyce Kee and Colin Choong there. It was my second time watching the movie; Adrian, How, Andrew and I caught it on the opening day, 17 July.

The movie was richer, darker and certainly more carefully constructed and orchestrated than the first, Batman Begins, but I still like the first better. Maybe it's because the first movie had more engaging one-liners and memorable quotes, maybe it's because the first was simpler and more powerful (in the raw sense).

Nonetheless, just as the first movie shaped much of my philosophy and encouraged me in the months and yeras that followed it, some of the dialogue in the second still haunt me now. Like when Alfred tells Bruce to 'endure' and 'be the outcast'; I find myself challenged to seek solitude and endure it this semester because my constant socialising and noisemaking last semester left me weary and dry at the end of it all.

I also strongly believe a major part of the ministry of prayer lies in the discipline of silence and learning to hear.

The other line is delivered by Rachel Dawes through a letter to Bruce; "I don't know if there will come a day when you no longer need Batman." It struck me that the tragedy of Batman is that, with the exception of Alfred, he is always alone. The cruel irony is that somehow, he must be alone. And so, in this movie as in the last, almost everything he holds dear to him is taken away. He yearns to destroy his alter ego in order to win the person he loves, but ends up learning that he cannot--for his sake but more so for the sake of Gotham.

Hence Commissioner Gordon's closing words to his son near the end of the movie, "He is the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs now; that is why we [the police] must chase him..." And those familiar with the comics and the cartoon will know that Batman never gets along with the police, with Gordon being the only exception.

As I was telling Ai Wei, I wonder if there are things in my life which I might desire with all my heart to get rid of, but somehow for my sake and the sake of others, I cannot and must not.


On the day of the MSK, I cycled around UM because I needed to take some time out after a rather depressing day before (I'd been swimming with Ai Wei after visiting the PKV's Exhibition Booth; Soo Tian was in UM). Before leaving college, I made some photos of the weaver ants, flies and spiders living on a tree beside my hostel block.


The mamak adventure was finally published in The Star's R.AGE pullout for schools, colleges and universities on 30 July.

* * * * *

Last night I started reading Max Lucado's 3:16 - The Numbers of Hope again. As you might guess, it's about the most famous verse in the Bible. My eyes fell on the words 'Includes a 40-Day Devotional' printed on the back cover.

If you've read Max Lucado, you'll know his books are about 30 per cent (or more) devotional guide. I used to dislike this, simply because I felt I was being cheated; it was as if Lucado was getting away with writing little and using the devotional to thicken the book.

But last night, I realised I have been wrong all this while. God's message to me since STOMP has been about recovering the devotional life; I knew somewhere midway through STOMP that how this semester turns out would very much depend on how I manage my quiet time and devotions.

Now when I look back at all the Lucado books I read (well, 70 per cent read), I realise I ought to have used those devotional guides because the ministry of the book lies not so much in the pen of its author as in the fellowship with our Author when we meet Him in prayer and solitude, into which the book merely leads and guides.

* * * * *

As I type this, many of my friends from the PKV (and my brother too) are at the Passion Conference featuring Chris Tomlin in Sunway.

Perhaps now I know what it means to be alone. Only now, alone, am I able to blog. Only alone am I able to face my fears and my darkest parts. This is what Henri Nouwen wrote of the Desert Fathers and Mothers.

Is this why they dared to flee? Is it because they knew somehow that, painful as it may be, they would rather seek God and leave their lives as a survivor leaves a sinking ship? Not everyone needs to flee as they did; some are able to maintain the a godly life in the midst of life's whirlwinds. I'm not those people.

I have been feeling so out of touch, yet I am encouraged by Nouwen who wrote that it was precisely out of the 'out-of-touchness' that the ministry of the Desert Fathers and Mothers flowed.