Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Of T.S. Eliot, toilets and more

Yesterday, I was chatting with Wei Yun (Category A Winner of last year's MPH Search) and somehow we went from T.S. Eliot to toilets to manure disposal to world peace and a plan for post-war recovery.

None of this is to be taken seriously and should by no means be treated as an indicator of the minds of today's youth. None of this information is to be used as evidence against either of us in our institutions of learning and/or employment.

Having said that, enjoy (if you can) the ride!


WY: t.s.eliot is an anagram of toilets
B: but toilets are essential!
B: imagine, ladies and gentlemen, a world without...
B: TOILETS
WY: GASP
WY: NO!
WY: YOU DON'T SAY!
B: where would your wee wee go?
WY: hmm
WY: in a hole
WY: or under a bush

B: and where might we dispose of your poo poo?
WY: as manure
B: there'd be many many holes
WY: it would be essential for the farming industry!
B: but what about singapore?
B: where there are more humans than farms?
B: or hong kong?
WY: too bad for them
WY: sacrifices must be made!

B: what would happen in mid valley, or queensbay mall, or KLCC?
B: in the airports, or on trains?
WY: hmmm
WY: we could fling poo at passers-by


...

B: i think we've just hit upon a great idea for a book
B: "A World Without Toilets"

...

WY: ah, the wonders of dung
B: we'd make lotsa plants grow!
B: and send the municipal council staff to retirement
WY: say good-bye to global warming!
B: genius!
B: we can also win the Nobel Peace Prize

...

WY: ah, yes. toilets are truly what is causing all war and strife!

...

WY: and when we are forced to drop our pants in the open
WY: we will feel some semblance of equality

B: indeed, indeed
B: our bowels are made the same
WY: yes
WY: and the smell is the same

B: be they american or asian or middle eastern
WY: yup
B: chemically all produce methane
WY: we have just hit on a new idea for world peace!

...

B: and methane can be used as a fuel
WY: SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION!!!
B: no more need for petroleum
B: or nuclear weapons
B: we now have...
B: SHIT BOMBS!
WY: NOOO!
WY: ah well
WY: they're environmentally friendly

B: yes
B: so after the war and all the carnage, the ground will be fertilised
WY: yupyup
B: so that the survivors can plant crops and begin life anew
WY: YAY!
WY: hmm
WY: we really SHOULD patent this idea

B: haha
B: i think i'll put it up on my blog

1 comment:

WeiYun said...

REMEMBER PEOPLE YOU SAW IT HERE FIRST! When the world's toilets have all been disposed of, we shall have eradicated war, suffering and depression! Join me in my quest to rid this planet of this abomination!