I am not deluded, I am not confused as far as my passions are concerned. How I came to sound so enthusiastic this morning, I have no idea. I am no green activist -- I do not think I have the perseverance to campaign for the things these people do.
Perhaps I am unrealistic, for realistically, how do I find a place where I can develop and pursue my passions free of distractions?
And then there is love. Can I love one who does not share the same beliefs as I do? If indeed we are all destined for the earth, and if our purpose of living is to make this world a better place, are there not many who share this vision? How much more different is the rest of humanity from the fractured souls that constitute the 'church of God'?
But one problem complicates it all: the fine line drawn between talent and calling, or from one to the other. What if one's calling and talents tend in different directions?
We are creatures made of heart and reason; but love and logic are not always in agreement. It may be reasonable to argue that a less desirable path be taken for the greater good of another, like when a mother gives up her job for her children. But what if there are no such variables?
If the individual must decide (all other things being equal) whether to heed what sounds like a calling, or whether to pursue the innermost, truest desires of the heart, what shall the decision be?
"Solitaire's the only game in town
And every road that takes him takes him down."
Is life a stalemate, a deadlock from which there is no escape? Is it foolishness to love one who may never love in return? Is it meaningless for a kite to fly in the breeze, even if it's actually going nowhere?
I want to believe that God does not provide talent that it may atrophy, nor that He allows love to prompt and then request it be denied.
I want to believe in God. I want to believe God.
Help me to believe.