Merdeka... or Much Afraid?

I've been listening to this album repeatedly for about a week now. I actually bought it because of the title and cover picture. As far as I know, the 1 Utama MPH is about the only place that stocks it.

The title song has 'Jars of Clay' written all over it:

Much Afraid

Empty again
Sunken down so far
So scared to fall
I might not get up again
So I lay at your feet
All my brokenness
I carry all of my burdens to You

Chorus:
All of these things
Held up in vain
No reason or rhyme
Just the scars that remain
Of all of these things
I'm so much afraid
Scared out of my mind
By the demons I've made
Sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go
Oh, sweet Jesus, never ever let me go

So happy to love
Yet so far to go
You lead me on to where I've never been before

(Chorus)

No, no, no, sweet Jesus, you never let me go

* * * * *

Being afraid of the things that scar and hurt us is one thing, but there is a greater fear: the fear of exposing our brokenness. Fear of vulnerability grips us like no other fear, and the the song 'Much Afraid' is a prayer that's not easily uttered.


...Do not let me hear
Of the wisdom of old men, but rather of their folly,
Their fear of fear and frenzy, their fear of possession,
Of belonging to another, or to others, or to God.
The only wisdom we can hope to acquire
Is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless.

--T.S. Eliot, 'East Coker' Stave II


Father, grant that I may be humble in love, not self-seeking and caught up in my own desires, purposes and vested interests; help me to love selflessly, graciously, mercifully and faithfully, as You love me.


"Our dreams should be locked in each other's fate, not mine and yours separate."

--Buchi Emecheta, Kehinde


My dogs are dependent on me, and they are not ashamed of it. Perhaps we ought to own up, and admit that we truly belong to our heavenly Father and to each other. 'Each man for himself' and 'survival of the fittest' are lies that should not have any place in our lives.


George Bernard Shaw, the Irish literary critic, playwright, essayist and 1925 Nobel Prize winner for Literature, said:

"Independence? That's middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth."


How true is this, in love and in life.

* * * * *

Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye is a Victorian, I found out yesterday. He was the guest-of-honour at the V.I.'s Merdeka celebrations.

And today, Mum found out during the Kids' Carnival at church, that Pastor Ng Koon Seng is too. His wife had asked about where I'm studying, and when Mum said, "V.I.", he chimed in, "Me too!" He was in the V.I. from 1961-1967: a True Victorian, and in Murugasu's era, no less!


A 'shocked' Kian Ti behind Li-Shia and my Jalur Gemilang. He's really one wacky little boy (and quite a poser at that!) underneath all his outward displays of sanity.


Li-Shia enjoying the super-sugary royal icing on the Merdeka cake (baked by one Mary Ng). But she didn't have to eat it; she's already as sweet as sweet can be... ;-)