Today

It appears I'm finally catching up with long lost sleep. Woke up at 11.00 today... OK, maybe that's early for some, but it was kinda shocking to be one of the last to awake this morning.

Bought the Band Aid 20 single, Do They Know It's Christmas, whose CD also comes with the original Band Aid recording (1984) and the Live Aid concert performance of 1985. Actually, I'd merely sampled a little of it at the HMV store, for the sake of hearing Bono sing "And tonight, thank God it's them instead of you," the line he apparently immortalised in the original recording of '84.

But some things lead to other things, and well...

The moon is almost at its highest in the night sky tonight, and by the looks of it, I won't be able to get much stargazing done for a week, until the moon recedes once again. Then again, now's my chance to examine the moon for all its worth in binoculars ;-)

I'm thinking of my failures as a Christian, as a person... I find that I can now identify with what Bono said about wanting to be a Christian, only that he finds he's not good enough. It's the hardest calling anyone can consider in this life.

God doesn't punish people for doing 'wrong' things, but for settling for too little, I believe. What are we, creatures made for eternity, doing wallowing in the mud of our earth-bound lives? What's wrong with me? I don't really know where to go from here, only I hope I will be able to decide. Only the One who made me can now lead me forward.

Talked to Sivin this afternoon over the phone, about the prospect of me taking up a 'job.' It's an opportunity for me to use on of the greatest skills God has endowed me with, and I feel much can come from it if I say yes. But the commitment required is great, and seems likely to be gradually more demanding.

We decided that since I'll still be busy studying in the coming years, and since opportunities do come again, it would be wiser to let this one go. For now at least.

I'm sitting next to the Christmas tree. 'Tis the season of joy and peace, and yet...

On one end, some celebrate by boozing away late nights with friends, wasting themselves away as if there were no tomorrow. On the opposite end, there are those who try to convince everyone of the 'true meaning of Christmas', throwing a plethora of Bible verses at the masses.

This year, I wonder if there's anything more? Beyond a baby born in a manger 2000 years ago. Beyond the Saviour, the Creator made incarnate. Beyond all the stories everyone has to tell, from the love of God, to Santa Claus, to the card that was inadvertently sent to the wrong person some umpteen Christmases ago... is there more?

Maybe it's just me, being a little over-influenced by Michael's d'NA closing address, in which he asked a similar question about us following God. But still, staring at the cosmos, staring at the stuff around me...

Good night for now.