It ends here... or does it?

Well, after some fourteen years, my piano lessons are over! I suppose I'll never miss scales (good riddance!), but no one else I know has spent nearly every year from Kindergarten till Upper Six with the same music teacher, and this, by far, has been the best part of all these lessons.

A chorus of cheers for Mrs Chang, a good teacher and a great friend (in the words of one of her students some years ago)! I did my Grade 8 Theory with Su Lin (pic above, right) and now we end our Practical together. So after our exam, we had lunch with Mrs Chang and Su Lin's mother. Thanks Aunty for lunch!

Looking back, this was by far my most confident performance. Perhaps Mrs Chang is right about maturity: it really does come with age. I cannot imagine enjoying preparing for Grade 8 the way I did, had I done so five years ago (according to original schedule). In fact, I stopped piano at ten, only to resume at twelve, and skipped many years of exams in between, thus delaying this final grade.

But what I have lost in time, I've gained in experience. This 'delay' has afforded me many trips to the Dewan Filharmonik Petronas to watch the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra in action, and in the last few years, I've been able to expand my musical horizons and develop a solid understanding of music theory.

In many ways, it was good that I finished Grade 8 Theory before embarking on Practical, and also good that I did theory under Trinity College rather than the ABRSM, for it was via this syllabus that I learnt so much about music history and rudiments of form.

By the way, the examiner's name is Anthony Digger, a rather elderly man with lots of experience training advanced pianists, playing the organ and leading choirs. Definitely NOT the easily satisfied sort!


On another note, I met with another end today. And no, I'm not writing this from heaven, so it's not that kind of end. ;-)

Yet as I think about it, I have only the words of Job to echo:

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked I shall return there
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD."

--Job 1:21

While reading Philip Yancey's Disappointment with God just now (a book with a very refreshing discussion of the book of Job), I came across these words: "The real battle ended when Job refused to give up on God..." So it is that the battle between God and Satan did not end when God appeared to Job, or when Job's fortunes were restored, but when Job time and time again refused to give up on God.

Consider verses like:

Though [God should] slay me, yet will I hope in him;
I will surely defend my ways to his face.

--Job 13:15

and

I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.

And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;

I myself will see him
with my own eyes—I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!

--Job 19:25-27

When I conveyed what had happened to my mother, she shared with me one of the insights she gained over the past few days. She learnt (from Institute in Basic Life Principles founder Bill Gothard) that sometimes God allows irritations to come our way; not calamity, but irritation. Stuff that incessantly bug us, but which can either distract us from, or drive us to, God. And she said that she realised last night that the purpose of some recent irritations was to make her seek God.

And as I consider it, I have also come to know that when God restores, he doesn't reverse time as if trouble did not happen. Rather, he leads us on to higher ground. When God gave Job more children after the whole ordeal, he did not resurrect those who had earlier died, simply because that wasn't the point. The point was that Job should see God and turn to him.

Mum reminded me of Jesus' words, as expressed in a famous song: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you." To seek God first, and let him worry about all the odds and ends of our lives. I know that God has led me into this, and he will see me through. And by 'this', I mean the entire Form Six experience. I shall not worry about tomorrow, for although I don't know what it holds, I know who holds tomorrow.

Somehow I now see Romans 8:28 (one of my all-time favourite Bible verses) in a new light:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

For a long time I struggled with the phrase 'those who love him', simply because I always had doubts about whether or not I truly love God. But now I'm beginning to understand that loving God is similar to continuously trusting and believing him. It reflects the Job experience, and perhaps it can be said that Job loved God, or else he would have given up on God long ago. For if we humans do not give up easily on those we love, how much more is it with God!

I pray that God will give me grace and strength to continue to love him, for I know I have been called according to his purpose. And I pray that I may serve him faithfully in whatever he may call me to do. Blessed be the name of the Lord.


Finally, here's today's poem from the Poetry Speaks calendar. I enjoyed it very much, and it resonated with the poet/writer in me.

from "Dream On"
By James Tate

Some people go their whole lives
without ever writing a single poem.
Extraordinary people who don't hesitate
to cut somebody's heart or skull open.
They go to baseball games with the greatest of ease
and play a few rounds of golf as if it were nothing.
These same people stroll into a church
as if that were a natural part of life.
Investing money is second nature to them.
They contribute to political campaigns
that have absolutely no poetry in them
and promise none for the future.
They sit around the dinner table at night
and pretend as though nothing is missing.
Their children get caught shoplifting at the mall
and no one admits that it is poetry they are missing.