Friday, June 30, 2006

Reflections on a Theme of Roses


Miss Shanti's gift to me and Li-Shia, for winning the essay competition and clearing the prelims respectively. I'm holding the draft and completed essay, and Li-Shia's holding the Tanah Pusaka score which I transcribed. Thank God for all the music theory classes!


This morning at quiet time, I was led to a famous passage in 2 Corinthians by Petra's song 'Life as We Know It'.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

--2 Corinthians 4:7-10 (NIV)


And as I read it, a thought came to me. Perhaps my 'better' essays didn't win, in order that a weaker essay may reveal the power of God, and prevent me from taking pride in an essay of which I have a high opinion. I suppose a writer must never let his writing get to his head. I am reminded also of Paul's words in 1 Corinthians, which Mum quoted to me when the team won the State Debate two years ago:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain...

--1 Corinthians 15:10 (NKJV)



A conversation with a friend echoed in my head even after I returned from school. I took a sheet of paper from my stack of spare photocopied Donut Man lyrics, and wrote this:

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus [Romans 8:1]. But we tend to forget that this freedom also compels us not to condemn others. "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and "Forgive us as we forgive others" [Jesus' words in the Sermon on the Mount, recorded in the 5th and 6th chapters of Matthew's Gospel].

John 8:1-11 paints a picture that we must not forget: only God has the right to condemn. And just as Lewis wrote that 'God will do all the excusing' [in his essay, 'Forgiveness'], we can say that He will also do all the real condemning. And His punishment will be far more severe than anything we can imagine; even hell itself fears God.

But on the other hand, let us not be resentful. In the story of the Prodigal Son [Luke 15], we are in danger of being like the older brother. Unlike the situation of John 8:1-11, in which Jesus reminds us of our own flaws, the brother is here depicted as having none. So it is that even if we are 'sinless', we ought not to question the grace of God, which he offers even to the 'swine' of the earth. The dying thief experienced this [Luke 23:39-43].

None of us are perfect, but perfection is what God calls us to. Philippians 1:6 echoes the words of creation [in Genesis]: "And He made man in His image." We will someday be made perfect, but until that day, His grace is sufficient, and Jesus Christ is our helper and friend (Philippians 4:13).

Psalm 121 reminds us that our help comes from God. For only with God's help can we bless those who curse us, and turn the other cheek when one is slapped [further teachings of Jesus found in the Gospels], and (as Jesus did) forgive others even when they hurt us [Luke 23:34]. For that is what forgiveness is about -- seeing the sin in all its ugliness, and yet letting the sinner go.



At the end of this day, I recall a song I listened to this morning, also by Petra.

Till Everything I Do

I could never hide away in a place that You won't see
Caught between the way I am and the way I want to be

You can take away the mask that hides the man inside
You illuminate the ways of darkness I denied

And even though You see
You keep on lifting me...

Chorus:
Till everything I do I do for You
Through every test of faith You take me through
Till every path I take is straight and true
Till everything I do I do for You

One by one You chip away at the edges of my heart
Till You see the hardness and the willfulness depart

You let me see my pride
Then pull me to Your side...

Chorus

Bridge:
Though I grow closer to the image You intend for me
I won't be all I'm meant to be
Till face to face I see

Chorus


It was inspired by Colossians, in which Paul writes:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

--Colossians 3:17


I suppose many things in life will be difficult, not the least of which are our relationships with various people. But we must not forget that every step we take either leads us closer to, or further from, the image of God, and we are slowly becoming the people we will remain for eternity. As such, life is like a practice session; it's alright to make mistakes, but we should pick ourselves up and move on in pursuing God's righteousness, which is His best for us.

Six months into the year, and already so many of my relationships are tangled: not that they're all bad, just... complicated, I suppose.


Yesterday's poem from the Poetry Speaks Calendar reminds me very much of Li-Shia and myself. It's full of words that could describe us... ;-)

White Rose
By Elizabeth Spires

The sundrenched beetle with a rainbow on its back
splayed and luxuriating on the wide white petal--
is that what our life could be?

Us, arms outstretched, prone
and petaled on a pillowed world?

Starved and drowning, I kneel to gather
White petals the wind has scattered.



Miss Perfume, I've said it once and I'll say it again (and again if necessary!): I still believe in you. Friends will say to one other, "Some journeys can, and sometimes must, be undertaken alone; for everything else, we have each other." So much of you inspires me. I just hope I can do the same for you.


I've just begun Nick Hornby's A Long Way Down. Trying to explore 'conversational fiction' to see if this technique can be used for the MPH Essay-Writing competition in July. It's been a long time since I wrote fiction/narrative; the last was in Form 4, the year I wrote 'The Bonang', which was then shortlisted for the IMPAC-Dublin Literary Award.

Then there's also the VEB Essay-Writing competition. Tinesh suggested I write something on my years in the V.I. Sounds good; the only challenge is that I'll have to condense seven years into some four or five pages (to make space for other pieces in the magazine), unless Denise is serious about offering me a minimum of 10.


Well it's some five minutes to the first World Cup Quarter-Finals match. Germany vs. Argentina... wait for me!

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