Thoughts after CU...

At Reunion, I asked David what would happen if the entire record of conversations between d'NAers were made public. He said something along these lines: we'd be blacklisted by most (if not all) churches and Christian organisations. Then I asked him if there was anything at all that could be said in favour of the d'NAers, given our failure to pass the 'sound theology' tests. He said, we accept one another.

At the Christian Union meeting today, I came face to face with this truth again. We had our meeting in 4 Hijau, one of the classrooms in the Art Block, a.k.a. the most inconspicuous corner of the school. Our meetings were always held there, until we moved to the Lecture Theatre block last year. Anyway, today's meeting brought back many memories.

Those present, besides me, were:

Lai Nai Kiat, Form 2
Lai Nai Lim, Form 3
Earnest Victor, Form 3
Edwin Siew, Form 3
Siew Wai Hung, Form 4
Kennard Lai, Form 4
Gustave Oon, Form 4
Wilson Lim, Form 5
Daniel Chen, Lower 6
Rebecca Wong, Upper 6
Shantini T., Upper 6

I realised that to some observers, the list above may read more like the city's Most Wanted Criminals. But over the years, that's the reality of the Christian Union. We're not a bunch of polished saints, but stumbling sinners trying to find our place in this world. Maybe the hardest thing to believe is that such fellowships of ragtag misfits all over the world, have all been ordained by God.

As the verse in the picture above says, let us not give up meeting with and encouraging one another, spurring each other on towards love and good deeds. When we introduced ourselves today (because Daniel was a newcomer), Kennard said, "I don't have a church, but I still believe in God." And I realised that over the years, the CU has been 'church' to many of my friends, like Huai Zhi, Paulvinder and Li-Shia--people who would otherwise have no contact with a Christian community.

This reminds me of the question that has been floating on the Emergent Malaysia mailing list for some time: is it possible to be unchurched yet faithful? Given some thought, I think my answer is no; it is very improbable to be unchurched yet faithful. But in saying so, I don't think church should be limited to buildings and denominations. This journey of faith cannot be undertaken alone, and so if we make it to the finish line, it will be because of others like us, who have supported us along the way. In that sense, this community of 'supporters' is our church.

It is often easier to turn to our neighbours in church or any Christian group and say, "How can this person call himself/herself a Christian?" that it is to remember God's grace to us. Paul reminds us in Ephesians that we are saved by grace alone, and not of ourselves, so that no one may boast. Shall we not then live and let live, by the grace of God? Why should we withhold from others the forgiving grace that God has so freely poured into our lives?


Reading Michael's blog today, I found lots of food for thought. Here's some:

We are inherently bad. I think the problem with us Christians is that we think we are inherently good. So when we sin, we tend to think we have failed God or Satan has won or something like that. As i pondered more and read the bible and reflected on life, i have come to the conclusion that actually, sinning is something natural for us. And when saying 'natural' i mean we do it without even thinking - it is part of our human nature. Therefore even without God or Satan, we will sin naturally.

The difference then is that by becoming a Christian, we have been given the ability to do good. The Holy Spirit enables to do good works for the glory of God and mankind. It is not a natural thing but through a supernatural act of God. To do good, we need God to enable us.

Therefore i think in the morning when we pray, we need to ask God to help us do good. Stop concentrating on our sins because if we do so, it will only damper our spirits. I remember Paul stating that he prayed 3 times to God to take away the thorn in his flesh (2 Cor. 12) but he was reminded that in his weakness God is made strong. Strong for good works, strong to do God's will.

Michael may be a father again!

Yes, Wuey Ping and i are going to be parents again though it is never confirmed till the first three months is up. That is the I and + for those who has not seen a pregnancy kit before. We are vary of informing this news as anything goes. Why now, well i do hope you all will continue to pray for Wuey Ping as she carries this child. And also for protection on the baby. I have heard and seen many people who have suffered miscarriages lately and we can never take anything for granted. All needs God's constant grace and protection. We are indeed in need of both.

There's even more evidence that FES is consolidating its part in the Marriage Conspiracy:

Hi! Today has been a horrible day for me. I have come to some conclusions about RELATIONSHIPS and i would like to drive in some friendly advice to all you couples out there who have graduated.

1. If you have been a couple for more than 2 years of graduation, please GET MARRIED!

2. If you are NOT MARRIED, girls, please give you boyfriend an ultimatum - "Either tell me why or buzz off!"

3. Girls if you are the reason than tell yourself the same thing.

4. If money is the problem, then ask your boyfriend, "are you collecting money for your own self, or are you just using this as an excuse!"

5. If it is really an issue, then can i ask you why? Money can never be the security of a relationship! It is faithfulness to each other and to God which ensures success!.

6. And finally, all you couples out there, if you are NOT MARRIED, please and i say please many times over, DO NOT BUY A HOUSE TOGETHER!


Well that's all from Michael's blog. Quite overwhelming, no? Well, that's Michael!

I don't know why there's been some reference to the May 13 Incident, both on Michael's blog and the Emergent Malaysia mailing list, in the middle of July. But the Emergent one seems somehow related to some supposed racial heckling at Universiti Putra Malaysia (UPM).

Watch the video here.


Miss Shanti just SMSed me. Here I punctuate for clarity:

Years pass us by without us realising it because so many lessons are learnt in that span of time. You have your 2-in-1, 3-in-1 or 100-in-1 happenings on one storyboard occurring at the same time at varied venues to varied people, that with so much to absorb at one go you take time to do so. Perhaps that's why time does not pass us by fast enough. However, when a particular scene presents itself with persons, belongings, ideas and all else deemed important--time assumes a jet set speed and we wonder where time has soared off to. We long for meaningful time with all that we consider precious to us but are often deprived of time to do so.

She and I are thinking very much of this year's MPH Search for Young Malaysian Writers competition, the theme of which is Time.


In Batman Begins, Rachel Dawes asks Bruce Wayne, "What chance does Gotham have when the good people do nothing?" This is before his pilgrimage out of Gotham. When he returns, Rachel tells him, "It's not who you are inside, but what you do that defines you."

Throughout the movie, it seems that this is Bruce's struggle: to translate his conviction into action. And Batman is the expression of that. I realise that although Batman is merely fictional, the 'moral of the story' is not: what we do, and who we are inside, are often different people. Sometimes well-meaning people do bad things, and sometimes they do nothing.

Is it because of fear? Maybe. I think fear expresses itself differently in different people. In that light, Batman has something we don't: a physical mask. Only behind the menacing façade of a bat, is he brave enough to do what he knows he should. Maybe we're afraid because we cannot hide like he does; when we face up to something, we make ourselves vulnerable.


Back to square one. In d'NA, no less than in the CU, we are vulnerable people, stripped of our pretenses. When I first entered the VI, I was ushered into a world where seniority dictated the pecking order. The CU was a breath of fresh air, a community where seniors never lorded it over their juniors, where I could talk to a senior as to a friend. Audrey once quoted C.S. Lewis's words in The Four Loves, applying them to what she thought of d'NA:

We meet like sovereign princes of independent states, abroad, on neutral ground, freed from our contexts.

And so, even in neighbourhood reunions (like SS2 would be for Shern Ren and Tee Ming, and Putrajaya for Sam), the whole environment is transformed into this 'neutral ground'. I felt it was the same in the CU. At this point, I still do. And on neutral ground, there is no weakness in vulnerability, simply because we see each other--to borrow a Lucado phrase--as soldiers longing to make it back home safely.

There is no humiliation, only humility. And there's nothing to lose and nothing to fear, for perfect love casts out all fear. And because God is love and God is perfect and God is with us, I think fear doesn't stand a chance.


I told Li-Shia via MSN Messenger a minute or two ago, that we often invest in those in whom we see ourselves. Somehow all these random comments, these sparse fragments... they all seem eerily related to one another. Everything about the people in d'NA and the CU--the friends we put so much hope in, the friends we trust, to friends who trust us--it really echoes what Lewis wrote at the end of the chapter on friendship:

A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work.


I tend to talk a lot, and I think I might've just spoken out of turn.