The Backward Glance

When Rachael asked me to play guitar for the final PKV meeting of 2008, and I roped Kaun in on tambourine, I think it was quite a gesture of courage and confidence (or faith laced with foolhardiness!).

The spontaneous 'Forever' at the end of the meeting.

The over-repeated 'I Will Sing of the Mercies'. (Though indeed it is fitting, for truly we shall never cease to sing of the mercies of our Lord.)

Kaun's feelings throughout this semester represented as a mass of spaghetti-like doodles on the piece of green paper we were each given.

And this:


My own representation of how my semester went.

A time of going further up and further into this course of study to which I have committed myself.

Moments of heartbreak (caused by a variety of incidents), with the hope that some broken hearts will soar again. (Remember the pendant.)

Recurring revelations that perhaps trees do talk to each other.

Long nights and dark days (to quote a U2 phrase).

The ways in which God speaks -- through friends. What matters is not if we are able to have suppers, or if we are able to go on wild trips or reflective sojourns, but that we should be there for each other at these crucial junctures of life.

The grace of God that is still holding everything together.


It was also Kenneth's last PKV meeting. As such, it also represents a new phase in my life, for truly we have been connected (and reconnected) in ways so uncanny only God knows why and how.

Godspeed, Kenneth. Words cannot express the extent to which I am indebted to you.

* * * * *

A friend recently tripped down memory lane, and wrote some of her thoughts here.

Several days ago, I stumbled upon a fragment of her past and was inspired to revisit the corresponding points in my past and the past of the guy who completes us.

I found, scribbled on this blog on 10 July 2007, these words:

Apparently, here you can grow your hair long and even dye it. You can also wear slippers to lectures. Considering all I've heard about the strict dress codes at other universities, I'm inclined to think UM is really trying to be different. I suppose this means it's the right place for me; after all, it doesn't get more bizarre than my new signature drink, BANDUNG BARLI PANAS TARIK.

It occurred to me that, in the course of my first year in UM, I did dye my hair and wear slippers to lectures. Haven't grown my hair long, though, and I doubt I will! (Though I must admit, it is more likely to happen than my getting a Facebook account.)


Lately, thoughts of the 'firstborn' have been coming and going in my head. As I read in the Bible of the immense significance of the firstborn and the consecration required of such a child, I am brought to a reflection of my own life, for I too am a firstborn.

And so is she.

And he.

And then the other she, who has in recent days shared some of our adventures.

Oh how are the firstborns entangled!

* * * * *

(I seem to find that, whenever I take photos, the first in a series tends to be the best. It is often not the most technically balanced and 'perfect', but the most imbued with a sense of artistry, presence and spirit.)