Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Dean Niforatos

Rev. Dean Niforatos spoke at church last Sunday. Some killer lines:

Before running us through some exercise; "We are Pentecostals, so we are going to lose some calories in the House of God!"

"Malaysia has the best food; we are going to eat this food in heaven!"

"My wife Carol is a dentist. She has convinced more people to repent than I have in all my sermons. Her favourite hymn is 'Crown Him with Many Crowns'."

"I hear there is a sale today [MPH warehouse sale]. There is a sale here too! Come to Jesus; salvation is free! Trade in your life and He will give you a new one!"

"To me, cats are going to hell, and dogs to heaven. I believe cats are evil. My Eqyptian friend says cats are the guardians of the underworld, and that confirms it."

Addressing that day's worship leader and guitarist, Andy; "I used to think Andy was God's name. Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me... OK that was a bad joke."


Lish said...


Kaun said...

OMG. i had a simlar speaker at church last week. Oozing with lameness. But he was good. =) I forgot all the jokes he made at the SEX seminar.

figures right.