Saturday, July 23, 2005
He confiscated my metal badge (something of great sentimental value, as it is the only memory of my days in the Seladang Editorial Board, apart from the periodicals we published) Anyway, I'm bad at breaking rules. Yet I also hate them. What a life :-/
For some reason, I have turned to unusual drinks in my recent spate of depression. On Thursday, had a Vanilla Coke at lunch (see picture), though I do not normally touch even Coke.
Then, in the evening, wanted to make myself a Kamikaze (two shots of vodka, with a teaspoon of lime juice), but eventually settled for a Virgin Mary (tomato juice, a little lemon juice, some salt, pepper, Tabasco sauce and Worcestershire sauce).
Yesterday, had a ginger beer before going for Christian Union (CU). It's been ages since I last had something so delectable; I virtually used to drink it by the litres.
At CU, Chien Yih spoke on using our talents for God. What inspired me most, was when we each, one by one, talked about our strengths, testifying to uniqueness of each person present. Another reminder that this business of doing God's work is really about people.
(Actually, I'd love to do a 'sharing of weaknesses' someday, not just strengths. Something along the lines of 'The Wounded Healer,' to borrow the words of Henri Nouwen).
Two things happened later, that really made my day: the second was seeing a bright red dragonfly in the garden. Mum brought my attention to it, and I rushed out with the digicam, forgetting the battery at first. Interestingly, it didn't seem inclined to move at all, to the extent that I was able to get as close to it as I did (see pic).
The first, and perhaps more meaningful, of my two experiences, occured just after CU. I shall write about it in my next post.
Had an argument with Mum on the way home from school yesterday. Indeed, I was in the wrong: I really need to study harder. Our monthly test is next week (monthly isn't the right word, actually, since we only have two such tests a year), and it seems I'm destined to underperform.
Anyway, here's a little thank you to a few people who have supported me, and continue to do so, in this time of uncertainty:
Thanks Yen, for listening, and for empathising and understanding beyond anything I'd expected. Because of you, in no small way, I am alive now.
Thanks David, for listening, and for having so much confidence in me (are we phase particles?). These troubles seem trivial during our conversations!
Thanks Wai Yeng, for listening, especially during those hours spent in your class, for giving me such hope in my weakest hours at school.
Thanks Weng Ken, for listening, encouraging and having the faith of a mustard seed. If only mine were nearly as existent as yours.
Thanks Soo Tian, for listening, even though our words have been few. You make this journey really wild, but hey, isn't that the way it's supposed to be anyway?
Thanks Tee Ming, for listening, for all the times you 'join griefs to my griefs, and echo sighs to mine.' Talking to you is like walking through a powerful, refining fire.
There is no deification here, but truly God has made himself unmistakably present through all these great friends. Thank you, one and all.
Posted by SimianD at 6:23 PM