Saturday, July 23, 2005


Originally uploaded by mincaye.
The last week or so has been indeed one of many tumultous experiences, not the least of which was the little episode in which the school's head disciplinarian (otherwise known as Penolong Kanan Hal Ehwal Murid) caught me attempting to climb out of school.

He confiscated my metal badge (something of great sentimental value, as it is the only memory of my days in the Seladang Editorial Board, apart from the periodicals we published) Anyway, I'm bad at breaking rules. Yet I also hate them. What a life :-/

For some reason, I have turned to unusual drinks in my recent spate of depression. On Thursday, had a Vanilla Coke at lunch (see picture), though I do not normally touch even Coke.

Then, in the evening, wanted to make myself a Kamikaze (two shots of vodka, with a teaspoon of lime juice), but eventually settled for a Virgin Mary (tomato juice, a little lemon juice, some salt, pepper, Tabasco sauce and Worcestershire sauce).

Yesterday, had a ginger beer before going for Christian Union (CU). It's been ages since I last had something so delectable; I virtually used to drink it by the litres.

At CU, Chien Yih spoke on using our talents for God. What inspired me most, was when we each, one by one, talked about our strengths, testifying to uniqueness of each person present. Another reminder that this business of doing God's work is really about people.

(Actually, I'd love to do a 'sharing of weaknesses' someday, not just strengths. Something along the lines of 'The Wounded Healer,' to borrow the words of Henri Nouwen).

Two things happened later, that really made my day: the second was seeing a bright red dragonfly in the garden. Mum brought my attention to it, and I rushed out with the digicam, forgetting the battery at first. Interestingly, it didn't seem inclined to move at all, to the extent that I was able to get as close to it as I did (see pic).

The first, and perhaps more meaningful, of my two experiences, occured just after CU. I shall write about it in my next post.

Had an argument with Mum on the way home from school yesterday. Indeed, I was in the wrong: I really need to study harder. Our monthly test is next week (monthly isn't the right word, actually, since we only have two such tests a year), and it seems I'm destined to underperform.

Anyway, here's a little thank you to a few people who have supported me, and continue to do so, in this time of uncertainty:

Thanks Yen, for listening, and for empathising and understanding beyond anything I'd expected. Because of you, in no small way, I am alive now.

Thanks David, for listening, and for having so much confidence in me (are we phase particles?). These troubles seem trivial during our conversations!

Thanks Wai Yeng, for listening, especially during those hours spent in your class, for giving me such hope in my weakest hours at school.

Thanks Weng Ken, for listening, encouraging and having the faith of a mustard seed. If only mine were nearly as existent as yours.

Thanks Soo Tian, for listening, even though our words have been few. You make this journey really wild, but hey, isn't that the way it's supposed to be anyway?

Thanks Tee Ming, for listening, for all the times you 'join griefs to my griefs, and echo sighs to mine.' Talking to you is like walking through a powerful, refining fire.

There is no deification here, but truly God has made himself unmistakably present through all these great friends. Thank you, one and all.


Joan-Lynn said...

Read more thoroughly about the climbing out of school over at TM Squared. Hey, don't be too upset over it. I mean, although I've read your past posts about not portraying Christlikeness and etc. by the behaviour lately, am just here to let you know that that's what make us all human.

And just so you know, you look like you have this weird-funny look in that picture where you're having the Vanilla Coke. Hmmm...??

Will be praying for you. Take care of yourself, okay?

Sivin Kit said...

peace be with you bro! wanna come for our BLC Aug 6th Anniversary?

silentsoliloquy said...

Through all this craziness.. we are learning much about the real world. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey..God loves you. Be strong. He will light your path... Have faith.