Dependence

nectar
Originally uploaded by mincaye.

This is my declaration of dependence
This is my declaration of my need
This is my declaration of dependence
On the One who gave this life to me

--Steven Curtis Chapman--


Exactly a week ago, I wrote the following poem, which is the fruit of a bit of stomachache, a bit of insomnia, a bit of the 'Inspirational Piano Moods' cassette in the background... and a God who inspires.

It was the night of my grandmother's birthday dinner; my exams began the next day.

[Note: It's rather raw and mostly unpunctuated; I've decided to leave it in its original state so as to capture, as much as possible, what I felt that night]


Stillness

It is not the time for words
For my lips are dry
But a time for listening
Not questioning how or why.
The pain that drives me to You
A burden so great only humility
Can bear its yoke
Repentance calls me back to the path
I once used to walk.
Where the chariots of fire await
To spur me on.
So much to do, that I must rest
I cannot sleep unless I pray
It is not for me, but you to say
For thou alone can bring me through the test
How deep does my weakness go
But the bottom of your love no depth will know
So grant, Lord, the promise of grace
Strength to keep running the race
Times of refreshing when I fall down
Perseverance to aim for the crown
To seek what is right and good
And purity to do what I should
I'm not quite there, still a work-in-progress
Sometimes inspired, but mostly a mess
Yet you keep moulding this clay
Till it becomes like you someday --
So I will not let go -- I'll hold on
Till the victory's won;
Never looking back, I'll follow you:
The ship is sunk, what else could I do?
The sun is down, and the stars
Sing their quiet song in the sky
It is not the time for words
Not for 'how's or 'why's
But only prayer ascending through the skies
Into the heavens -- a living sacrifice --
No less than all within me
My heart, my mind, my soul, my life.